hippobunny on berrieslalaland

m.f.

2010-03-24T23:48:00.002-04:00

m.fox has come out with some really nice themed browsers! it's like how previously gmail revamped their normal headers to the themed ones! awesomeness!

xmas and cravings

2009-12-24T21:11:00.004-05:00

it's xmas eve. and guess what?
mcd and wendy's aren't open.
i cant have my sundae/ frosty float!
the situation..is indeed very different from what we have back home.
24/7 throughout the year sure available.
wuhuhuhu

foodfoodfood

2009-10-23T13:40:00.000-04:00

2nd Anniversary

2009-09-16T11:27:00.003-04:00

it's Ada's 2nd Anniversary today..

Ada darhling, u're still greatly deeply missed..

betrayed.

2009-09-15T13:27:00.002-04:00

tonight again, i looked at that particular pic. again and again.
and keep thinking. why.

we were once, so close to each other.
we were once, good friends.
how can a picture of that, determines the level of our friendship.
i know.
but somehow, i feel betrayed.
and perhaps, that's the reason why the gift was left unattended for as long as i remember.
there were moments of awkwardness during catch ups over msn.
even the simplest i miss you! sounded so sham and deceitful.
did i really missed?

it hurts when you find out that a person who meant so much to you never really treasure you
and whatever you believed before this, was and had long snarled and tangled into a bun of scepticism.
i'm holding on to the only belief. that that friendship of ours was there, before.
and i'm glad i met you. although i may not know you as much as i thought i know, but at least i'm still holding on strongly, those memories that we once shared together.
we parted, and we move on.

on a lighter note,
at least i've bunch of many others,
who treasure me as much as i treasure them.
these, are the people who are called genuine friends.

60

2009-07-30T11:44:00.002-04:00

60 more days to go.
le sigh..
i need to start joltin down stuff.
i need to start appreciate the remaining 60 days.

2009-07-25T12:58:00.002-04:00

just back from watching harry potter.
albus dumbledore passed away. :'( ( i knew it was an ending for him in Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince but still, it was such a sad ending for dumbledore!)
and now i just got a sms from 4thsissoh saying yasmin ahmad passed away earlier!!!!!!!! noooooo!!!!!! sigh.
it's a great loss to the country. :'(
first it was michael jackson, then dumbledore, then yasmin ahmad. whywhywhy. why must all these legends all be gone!
restinpeace,great people.

Tsk

2009-07-22T11:22:00.004-04:00

sour people say sour stuff.
tsktsk.
you have my utmost sympathy!

2009-07-15T23:54:00.003-04:00

'Things break but can be fixed. There are more important parts of life..'

24th

2009-07-07T11:12:00.015-04:00

the bestestgreatest birthday gift ever, ---

is the time when i can celebrate my birthdays with them by my side.

2009-06-09T03:47:00.003-04:00

today's such an unlucky day for me.
firstly i had to deal with the clueless guy at the jabatan.
then now, i have to deal with one of the budget airlines.
fml. really.

i think i have to pay again for the unconfirmed booking cos aint sure if my payment has been transferred. called up and asked and they asked me to wait til 1705. one hour+ to go. yet it seems like forever.
if the money has been transferred. sayonara to my rm256. how many kolomees i can buy with rm256. =( then meaning i am so fucked up. paid so much just for the two exactly same tics.

this is what happened, i logon to my account and make the booking, and whilst i was trying to make my payment, it says error. so fine.
i relogin and went through the same process again. cos i thought my previous booking was cancelled. i know i'm stupid. so then this time, after 3 attempts (all which says error!), finally i could get the tics and all. but with an extra rm50 in total. so fts i said. what can i do right. i had to book it anyways and if i keep procrastinating, the tics price could be different again.
then after making the payment and stuff, i went to see my itinerary through the account and there are two bloody bookings!!!!!!! one is in confirmed status while the other isn't! fml. really fml.

then i called up the call centre which costs me another rm4.50 (with some patience and anxieties) to see if they can cancell the unconfirmed booking for me. and no was the answer and was told that i have to wait til 17:05 to see if the booking will be automatically removed. and if the payment has been transferred, then fml.
sometimes i really prefer to do things manually, even if it is more inconvenient and troublesome.
double the price. dahlah wasted extra rm50. the first tic that i initially getting was rm85, and the second was rm110.

if that happens again, i'm gonna be so damn sure to go back to that specific section to check my itenerary from there. so that the history wouldn't repeat itself. wtf.
damn worried now.
fts. don't ever ask me to book airtics not with the stupid connection, ever.
2 more bookings to go. wtf.
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :'(

Abuse

2009-05-28T13:29:00.002-04:00

i read about the news of a mother who abused her 5-year old son.
and it really saddens me.
brendan and people close to me always say my children will be in... like military camp next time and i'll train them like soldiers. prolly i am always deemed to be a fiece person, particularly when i deal with kids. and i'm sure no kids will like me, too anyways cause i'm not a loving person and i can't just put up a friendly and loving face and play with them or say what cute lah this lah that lah etc. and pretend to be so happy and so love the kids when i'm actually not. i just can't bring myself to doing that.
mayb cos i never liked kids and toddlers. i only love babies. but, when they reach 1 year old.. the love just stop growing. wtf. teramat cute or very obedient toddlers, then lain crita lah okie. that one i sure sayang kau kau.

but then the news came alive and it really touched me. my heart seriously ache when i saw the picture of the back of the boy. mylord, one whole patch of bruises.
and i don't want to go to that extend of abusing my own kids next time. gee. scary. and really kesian that boy!

and and TMR IS MY LAST DAY OF WORK. ok, wait. not tmr. since it's already like 5 mins to 2am, so it's officially MY LAST DAY OF WORK. wtf.

breakkkkkkkkkkk. how i long for this long break. but i guess i'll miss the lovely and helpful coworkers and the times i had while i work. i learnt hellalot of things. and i really have no qualms and regrets at all. i guess i did the right choice. (at least for once in my life, wtf.)

the qi, if u're reading this: i MADE IT!i'm finally done and all through with it!!! =D remember how i was in doubts when i told u this before i took up the offer?? ahhaaha.

but i've got so many things to do, for the next 3 weeks. =(
whatmore to complain when there's no time limit for hellalotof things like sleep, tv, online etc. i can do whatever i want. life's a bliss when i've got unlimited sleep per day. =D

A Decision Made.

2009-05-24T13:15:00.002-04:00

i ponder and wonder, is this the right thing to do?
i'm scared.
but i dont have a choice, do i?

2009-05-11T12:44:00.002-04:00

cimbclicks.
ihateyouso.sonotefficient.wtflah.
no,i dont want to spend anymore ringgit for all the calls to the hotline and/or make a few more trips to the atm/bank to reset everything!!!!! arghhhh!!!
it's kinda stupid,really.
whats with the online banking if it's so cacated? comonlah.
we thought we could makes our lives easier by having everything done from home, but apparently that's not the case! and we still need to frequent our trips to the bank/atm just to sort out the problem this cimbclicks is giving us. wtfisthisshit, you tell me!
you guys should do something about it! pleaselah. fts.

2009-05-07T23:20:00.002-04:00

i got fu at work. fi.
but..but i finally got something done. bliss.

0.02

2009-04-28T12:16:00.002-04:00

heartache kaukau.
a crack on the hinge can cost me a lot.
and to have it operated to get it fixed, makes me even more heartache.
why me. why i have to be the 0.02%.

whatturfis that. tell me.

it's officially

2009-04-21T14:31:00.002-04:00

2 months, baby.
T.W.O. freaking months just passed just like that. o.0
but 6 more effing weeks to go before i could have my nails painted in red again. sodamnsadcase.
so bah!

i stumbled across something in hk mid last year and have been eyeing for that something since then. and i've finally come across one that i really LOVE just now after close to one freaking year. and now i'm doubting whether should i get it or not... people say we should reward ourselves and pamper ourselves a little by splurging on something really good for ourselves for all the shitty hardwork has already (yet for me) paid off right... but..

is it really that true?

Kuching Photo Hunt

2009-04-17T10:36:00.011-04:00

nelsonthebil and i joined the Kuching Photo Hunt on Sunday. If jien and hao are here, would have asked you two to join pun! So yeah, although my group (group 11) did not win, but still, i had a lot of fun, snapping the whole day and meeting a lot of nice people who have the same passion as i am. as the saying goes, birds of a feather flock together. it was fun mingling and hanging out with the group of people who have the same interest as you.

The event lasted the whole day, from 7.30am-9pm. thankedgod, i was not working on monday.

we were divided into around 4 persons per group, and there were more than 10 groups. Each group was chauffeured by the team leader. Each group was then given a set of 25 questions. And all the answers are in pictures form. We were flagged off at 9am. We then went around Kuching to snap the pictures (as the answers) for the questions. Submission for the pictures was at 4.30pm. We went to as far as jong's crocodile farm, pitcher plants garden and semenggoh wildlife centre to get our shoots. (i mean it was great to be able to go such places on opportunity like this. not like we can go there anytime we want after all.) And for the rest of the questions, we scoured around the town area for the answers.

3 of us even walked from gambir fish market to the sarawak state mosque. go figure.

so it was indeed, an adrenaline rushed event as we had to make sure we managed to answer all the questions within the limited time frame that we had. On top of that, we had to sit down, upload the pics by each one of us, select the ones we would like to submit, and then go through all the pics again, just to select the best answer to be submitted in.

Although majority of them, okie, like all of them (i guess) were using nicecanggih dslrs and were equipped with all sorts of accesories and lenses, and i did, indeed feel inferior with my normal compact, but still i am happy with some of my shots. and most importantly it was the experience, exposure and fun that matter the most.

after having our dinner together, there was some photos sharing sessions. i was amazed to see that there are a lot of great photographers out there. and their pics were really really great!!! compared to mine, mine kacang only! and i really love activity/event as such. if got explorace or whatnots, i want to join pun! cos very fun i feel. very challenging!

here are some of the pics!

#1 trying to figure out where the answers should be and which destination should we head to first.

#2 answering the first question.

#3 one of the many random and unrelated shoots that i took.

#4 again, random shots.

#5 so random again.

took this when i was telling the johorian team member that this is kuihjala, one of the tradisional kuihs.

#6 amazed to see so many types of grains.

#7 pitcher plants. one of my fav shots.

#8 my team members.

so anyways, i did have a lot of fun. wheee. and nelsonthebil's group won 3rd prize (each winner was given a binocular (nikon's). 1st-3rd prize all get binoculars lah, different sizes only! and non winners like me, brought back some worthwhile memories and experience.

ouch

2009-04-16T23:47:00.006-04:00

this stupid cut had my thumb bled profusely.
and left a couple of bloodstains on papers,books, and my clothes. wtf.

a day later.

senseless moron

2009-04-10T13:15:00.006-04:00

was out for confenssions of a shopaholic (am disappointed with the movie- dull storyline; expected more scenes of becky does the shoppings, didnt really like the way she dresses, albeit all these, i was touched by the scene where she turned up at the church for suze's wedding and the hug that reconciled the friendship, and i adore hugh dancy!).

so anyways, we were late for the 8pm movie. there was these 3 inhumane humans who reached the lift before we did and they just bloody let the lift close knowing goddamn well that we were hastily quicken our footsteps to get into the lift too. so nelsonthebil who was ahead of us managed to prevent the door from closing, got into the lift first, followed with 4thsissoh and then me, and guess what?

that stupididiot guy just let the goddamneddoor close and i suspect he didn't even press the door open button. i had just stepped my right foot onto the lift. and the door just close and hit me on my head and arm. nelsonthebil didn't managed to press the button as he too, had just stepped into the lift and was basically giving ways for the two of us to get into the lift. that bloody guy just stood there and let the door close.

hope my what the fuck! could haunt him+the other two forever. cis. so inconsiderate. some more talk like so angmohs like that. angmohs wouldn't be so not gentleman lo. 4thsissoh asked me 'eh, ok anot you.' i said 'partial concussion. pain lah. what else. stupid wan. didnt even press the button wan.' you heard that, atrocious dumbass?

i don't give a shit about how other ppl dress and all that shits, and no offence to whoever who dress up nicely and carry guccis or lvs and whatnots, like seriously. but i really behtahan those ppl who dress up like so keh si, buoyantly and proudly flashing their branded accessories like that yet don't even have manners. so here you go, fycheapos.

anyways, my lousy cacated 3210 or 3120 whatever model it islah, dont matter, has finally decided to die on me. fts cause i need to spend money again. everyone says it's time cos i'm way too outdated and am known to using lousyoldphones, yet i don't feel the need to getting a new phone and pray to God that the phone will be ok tmr so i don't have to spend money to get a new one. wtf.

fastandfurious was awesome! but van diesel is scarry. why does he look so robotic wan. but paul walker, god.. maybe because he (and hugh dancy) has nicee teeth!
why is hugh dancy so cuteeeee. where to find a someone who looks gorgeous and has nice set of teeth like hugh dancy and paul walker!! i am immensely charmed by these two fellas.

may i dream of hugh dancy later when i sleep. wtf.
i only have 3 hours sleep now. shit.

total random

2009-04-09T12:13:00.009-04:00

mrday brings sushine into my life.
didn't know vicenzi's tastes amazingly good.

the miniature orange that always comes in odd numbers of pieces (say 7, and sometimes there are 9 too)
yes, i counted each time before i popped them into my mouth.
and
everybody started joining me (to count the number of pieces per orange)
just to prove me wrong.

i dropped my jaw upon seeing the price. it's so ridiculously overpriced.
it should not be that expensive.
conversion+importing fares,

it should be more or less rm20 instead of a freaking, say, what? 33.99?
damn unfair.
why is our buying power here is equivalent to zero?

the squishy otak.

hunter, i miss you.

and you looked damn cheeko here, hunter.

thedamncute tictactoe.

the tandoori chicken that i cooked. damn hodoh, but quite nice actually!

the fragile but heavy stuff that travelled across 2 oceans.

the lo t'ng and some veggies with lotsa garlic! =D

mashed potatoes, salad and steak.

wow bao. i missmissmiss.

onionblossomtasteslikeheaven.

kimchikimchimyfav.

the tired princess.

i heard krispykreme's gonna be in msia soon.
wooott. and,
wendy's, we need you here, too.

the chicken porridge.

i burnt the chocs.

the bloodysickly egg.

2009-04-08T12:14:00.002-04:00

4thsissoh and i were at memory lane earlier to grab a present paper and a card, and whilst browsing through the pink multipurpose pouch which she ended up buying just because it's pink. wtf i was looking through the rack in search for a new keychain, ar then she suddenly shouted out my name and said 'your armanie is here too! wtf.' and i almost had an heartattack seeing a few of armanie's newphews. (cos they were not there the last time i went). and armanie seems old as i got it in january. so newphewslah tu. wtf.
damn kena heartattack sial.

2009-04-07T23:58:00.000-04:00

happy birthday.
and i hate you.

Irrelevant.

2009-04-05T13:18:00.007-04:00

eh, you all know what this kuih is called?

i mean i call it toh tau (peanuts) kuih, but right i just could not find the toh tau kuih recipe in the internet. i damn suka this kuih. perhaps i got the name wrong or something.

so hard to find this kuih sometimes cause i think there are not many people selling traditional kuihs these days. what happen to those vendors/aunties who made or sell kuihmuihs ah.

i was so happy when i found out yongkwang actually sells this kuih.
the texture for the skin/dough skin is damnnnnnn perfect.
somemore the toh tau kuih damn huge. it's so worth the rm0.5.
damn niceeeeee. slurpslurp. but right, it would be even more yummylicious if more sugar is added to the filling.

pink (depending what shades) is among my fav colours.
but not to the extent to having a pink monitor.
my babygreyyie is dying. T_T

was having dinner at tamankereta last night. and 4thsissoh who was sitting across me, signaled me and said, eh your duplicated armanie is overthere. see the lady with the big pink bag?
i turned over and caught a glimpse of armanienotwo. wtf.
the lady was like very far from us so i could not really see it that clearly.
so i really hope it's not armanienotwo. wtf.

it is now officially monday, 6.4.
and i am having monday blues.
i hope this shitty problem could be over soon.
so i do not have to live in fears
and deal with shits
all the time.
FTS.

i hate mondays,
tuesdays,
wednesdays,
and,
thursdays.
and
fridays.
well,
fridays used to be my fav day among the week.
but somehow because of that stupid prob,
i hate fridays now.
wtf
and and,
ohyea.
i hate
sundays, too.
wtf.

A Reminder

2009-04-03T11:07:00.007-04:00

i love mrS more than anyone else in the world.

he's the bestestever and cutestever dad.

it's beyond description.

and he, is my everything.

he (and mdmY) was the sole reason i decided to come back to kuching.

cause i wanted to spend more quality time with them and to make up the loss- things that i did not do (spending time with them and all) whilst i was in pg.

i took up the job offer cause i thought i only have to work like 6 hours per day and i could spend my morning and evening time at home, meaning i will have ample time to spend time with them.

sometimes i have to prepare and finish my work in the morning, and sometimes i wake up late, so sometimes mrS has to be alone (while i am in the midst of completing my work and mdmY is away), doing his own readings and all that by his own.

my fault (for waking up late etc), i know.

my heart ache everytime i see him from afar, thinking about how lonely he is,

if none of us is by his side.

i think my parents have aged.

and they (mrS in particular) look much older now.. =(

my dad has been telling me a lot about stuff, like how my mom and my family would be if he's gone. who would be taking care of my mom and the houses. who should he give his properties to and all that. and that we will not be able to come back home in time if anything happens to him. le sigh. in return, i always shrug off all his doubts and questions by telling him that he should not be worrying so much cause he will be fine and he will have long life. and finish off with a warning that i hope he will never bring up the subject again cause wah beh suka tia.

but somehow he will bring up the subject again.. from time to time. and that really stresses me up sometimes.. cause i am scared to face it should the time comes.

and tonight, he brought up the subject again when we were watching niang jia.

each time and whenever he brings up the subject he will cast out his disappointments (will elaborate further should there be any stuff that provoke me to write about that)

and i am scared i will and have to dissapoint him by any means, even if it means it is not my will to disappoint him.

sometimes it is really not up to me to decide,pa.

my parents are old.

i realised i have to learn how to take care of them, as it is now my responsibility to look after them.

it is not easy..but i'm learning..

sometimes i wish that my elder sisters will be here at home with me. so i need not to bear with this, alone. at least there's somebody to guide me and at least there will be more people around. instead of just the three of us.

i cannot bear the thought of leaving them behind.

i cannot bear the thought of not having them around.

is it the last 2/3 months that i have?

no, i do not know.

and no, i do not want to know either.

whatever it is,
life is short, fragile and priceless.

this is a piece of reminder for me,

to treasure and to love them as much as i could.

2009-04-02T11:42:00.006-04:00

around this time of the year last year, i was struggling, partly because i was loaded with school work and mainly because my student life was coming to an end and i had to embark to a new phase of my life so to speak.

working life seemed so exciting back then, prolly because i had an ideal and brilliant idea about how my working life would and should be. everything seemed, surreal and well, fun. i could dress up and go out for lunch with my coworkers. everything seemed... perfect back then. at least that was how i perceived the working life. wtf.

but sadly, now that i have tasted it, that is so not the case.

i am trying not to think negatively about the current situation i am in. but sometimes, my pessimism could really.. stretch.

whatever it is, fts.
and i am the artist to paint my life.
so ah...fi.

8 more weeks, baby.

edited:
ps: i wish i could hide in the duffel at times like this when i stumble across the shits.

2009-03-28T12:46:00.001-04:00

ok, fts.
i am not going to give it another try.
goddamn hell to msn.

bye.

2009-03-28T12:18:00.004-04:00

i've been trying and trying and trying to sign in to msn...
for forever since hours ago.
what the hell is going on to msn?!
cisciscis. wtf wtf wtf.

2009-03-17T11:46:00.003-04:00

i can't wait for june / july.
it's not really the month that i most look forward to, partly cause i do not want to go through shits. elaborate later when the time comes.
yet at the same time, i long for it to come by asap so that i can carry out my own plans, else everything is pretty much hanging up in the air.

uncertainties can certainly kill.

today's the 3rd day of skul hols.

gone are the 2 days which were spent on tidoring makaning reading and working on the mission.
and there are so many things on the lists which i have yet to do.
the bags and books are strewn all across the bedroom. and i am still doing nothing about it.
boxes which need to be labelled, sealed and wrapped up.
things on the table which need to be sorted out and kept in place.

it is nice to be able to spend the days doing not so important stuff. sometimes doing shitty insignificant and nonmeaningful stuff such as rereading back the books you've read ages ago, merely flipping through the old mag which you've read weeks ago, or simply spending hours sieving through some old pictures that you took, makes the day well spent.

on a mission

2009-03-16T11:37:00.003-04:00

omg. i guess i'll be really busy these few days..
i'm on a mission.

wheeee

2009-03-12T11:51:00.010-04:00

i can't wait for the coming holidays.
omg.
it's freaking awesomeee to have a break... from all these.

i've got a few things which i need to do over the holidays.
but bah.
who cares.
holidays holidays holidays
break break break
that's all matters! =)

and and.. i misss the caramel popcorns with peanutsss!!!!!!!!!!

it's the bestest popcorns ever!!!!!!!!!!!
i miss the times i smuggled 'em into the cinema. with bottled moutain dew /and plain water. wakkaka.

ps/ break=typo error=berak. ewwww

This night

2009-02-27T11:19:00.011-05:00

tonight,

i was thinking..hard, when will be the time i could have my nails painted red again? miss my trademark red coloured nails and french mani..
le sigh.

ah...fi.

tonight,

i spoke to one good friend, chucking out my rants and grumbles.

and thanks to you,

i'm feeling helllots better now.

-be a bitch. dont just say, must BE.

tonight,

i was mad at mrS over a mug of milo.

the reason?

i asked him to make a milo for me, but he did not.

moment later i was keksim. and said to him 'ask you make milo for me but u didnt.'

and found out that he didn't know i asked him to make me milo cause he did not pay attention to me when i told him that.

but still, i was angry.

he came to my room, wanted to fill up my bottle of water and i said no need.

as i was still very angry.

but now i feel damn guilty already.

cause he's my mosttt loveddddddddddddd and mosstmossssttmosssst important person in my life.

he's the mostestgreatest dad in the whole wide world!!

how would my life be without him.

no, i don't want to think about it.

sigh. so veryveryvery sorry, pa.

tonight,
i looked through the pics i took during one of those carefree days;
when i had all the time to sleep well, rest well, and travel.
i truly miss those times.

it's alright, i told myself;
gone are the 5 days.
no worries, i told myself;
it's just another 60 working days.

somehow i went through the 5 days.
despite how much less faith i have in myself.
i made it through, for now.
and tmr will be the 6th.

3 months from now,
around this time of the 3rd month,
i shall be ready for another carefree days and months ahead.
and with that, dancing queen i shall be.
cheering and smiling all night long,
for the stress is no longer mine.

i wish... tmr is the 60th day..somehow..

well oh well... tmr is just another day.
another day to challenge my perseverance and my determination to make it all the way through to the 60th day.

bring it on!

Another

2009-02-26T13:01:00.001-05:00

61..days.
yesterday, i looked at the bright side of life, for once.

62

2009-02-25T10:34:00.004-05:00

and that's the amount of days that i still need to be brainfucked.

patient baby. patient.

saw this pic while sieving through the loads of pix.
it reminds me of those happy times that i once had.
and i miss miss those happy times.
i wish i am that happy now.

le sigh.. FI.

2009-02-24T12:01:00.004-05:00

2 days down.

i'm stress. tired. stress. lethagic. stress. brainfucked. stress. fuckedup.

the only word i could comprehend now is- stress.

i wish i am there some how.

ahh...FI FI FI.

2009-02-19T12:23:00.003-05:00

sometimes i really wish i could be there, right there, right now.

being alone is one thing, having had to bear with alot of responsibilities, toppled up with stress and stress and stress on your own, is another.

what are you doing now?
i wonder.

Rotting, i love you so.

2009-02-19T11:26:00.005-05:00

im scared.
like dammmmnnnnnnn freaking scared, okie.
to face the real world.

i can't wait for 29.5.
i can't wait.
i shall reward myself a good vacation in june.
JUNE JUNE JUNE
a gooood almighttttttttttttty hols for myself!!!!!
fren's wedding on 31st. and i look forward to that. i hopeeeeee i can make it!
and i hopeeeeeeee salma m. will be able to come to msia around that time!

now that the time has cometh, i wish i would have not complained so much about being jobless and rotting at home since end of april 08.
i want to take all my words back.
i love rotting. i love love love.

feel so fucked up nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
despite all that shits, i wish i can handle whateverfckingdarndestshitty challenges coming my way. i gotta be strong.. it's just some freaking 13 weeks.

i'm scaredddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

2009-02-17T15:11:00.003-05:00

it's 4ish am and i still can't sleep and that drives me nuts so i figure why not i write down my thoughts so thats what im doing now lappie on my lap while typing in the dark having the room all to yourself means total freedom with 100% privacy meaning i can switch off the lights whenever i like or have it on til the wee hours or til the sun slaps me in the face and not having fights or arguments on whose responsible isit to switch off the lights the downsides of it would be not having someone around to have pillowtalks with you or be there for you when you are scared of ghosts i have been going to bed rather late lately and waking up late like 12pm wake up shower brunch tv online dinner tv online sleep i am having sorethroat now cause i had too much peanuts and fries and oh yea i think i figure out the reason why i am stil wide awake by now i had peach tea earlier i still cant find my sudoku booklet nor can i find the sudoku player how ah like that tell me sigh i guess my life is really pathetic i dont know why maybe cause i still cant sleep and still blabbing here ok maybe i should just go ahead and try to sleep even if it means tossing around in bed somehow i wish the night never ends

She has it

2009-02-17T12:55:00.004-05:00

i used to be so hooked on teardrops on my guitar.
it's one of the best songs ever.
now we have love story. one of the bestests.
for some retarded reasons i couldn't get the codes from myflashfetish and have it uploaded and let the song reruns itself till forever so long as my blog page is on.

We were both young when I first saw you.

I close my eyes and the flashback starts:

I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.

See you make your way through the crowdand say hello;

Little did I knowThat you were Romeo;

you were throwing pebbles,

And my daddy said,

"Stay away from Juliet."

And I was crying on the staircase,begging you,

'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.I'll be waiting;

all there's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story - baby just say

'Yes.'

"So I sneak out to the garden to see you.

We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.

So close your eyes;

escape this town for a little while.'

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,

And my daddy said

"Stay away from Juliet,

"But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'

"And I said,

"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.

I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;

This love is difficult, but it's real.

Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.

It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'

"Oh.

I got tired of waiting,Wondering if you were ever comin' around.

My faith in you was fading

When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,

"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.

I keep waiting for you but you never come.

Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-

"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,

"Marry me, Juliet -

you'll never have to be alone.

I love you and that's all I really know.

I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;

It's a love story - baby just say

'Yes.'

"Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you...

Missing

2009-02-15T13:16:00.001-05:00

i lost the sudoku booklet.
wtf.

2009-02-12T11:30:00.003-05:00

a book in hand,
in bed i read,
a mind at ease,
to rest i have.

sigh. too much time spent infront of the notebook can be really exhausting too.

i miss the nights where i spent my time reading, playing games on Armanie, or sudoku till i doze off.

i long for sucha night.

2009-02-11T11:56:00.005-05:00

finally i'm connected back to the 'world'.

now that it's time to hit the serious thing- work,

for once,

i wish to bum again.

perhaps i am not ready, at all.

2008-12-16T14:33:00.002-05:00

it's close to 4am and i am blogging my way.

feeling kinda fucked up and tired but my eyes aren't willing to close and i am still very much awake.

i should be sleeping, by now. uh.

thanks to grande green tea frap. now i am so awake.

holly.

i had sucha bad day today, er. yesterday i mean.

was scheduled to meet up with one of my most fav persons on earth at 7am but i bloody overslept for 1.40 hrs.

speeded my ass off and nearly had an accident near sk stampin. it was pouring and the car sorta skidded due to the bad condition on the stupid road. i was lucky enough as there was no cars around and all the cars were quite a distance behind me.

else i would have gotten somebody or even myself killed.

it was scary when the car lost control. tsk.

i was so mad at mdmY. and mrS back then. as mrS put the blame on me when i blamed mdmY for not trying hard to wake me up.

and when mrS insisted to go to the airport with me (as it was raining and he was scared i would drive recklessly knowing so well that i would speed), i told him 'no need! even if one day if i had a car accident and i die, u also put the blame on me!' then off i went.

i guess it was really a 'tulah' cos i nearly had an accident. -__-

my effort came to a waste when that fav person of mine had checked in and was waiting to be boarded prior to my arrival at the airport.

all the plans i had in mind, eg the breakfast, the venue, were flushed down the drain.

the disappointments. the promise i made.

uh, i will never forgive myself.

i feel soooooooooooo terribly bad and am still superbly mad at myself.

it was sucha heart breaking thing to find that the one you have been wanting to meet for so long had gone into the departure gate. felt so kektioked at myself. kek til wanted to cry. felt so helpless back then.

i felt so lost when i could not find her in the departure hall and when she did not answer my calls/smses.

i hate myself the most when i, unintentionally and under certain circumstances, could not keep the promises i made.

i hate myself, sometimes.

i told somebody something which i would not have said if i did not spill of the things accidentally.

now i should really think clearly before i say something.

le sigh.

i hate myself, at times like this.

i rejected a job offer yesterday.

i know it is not a wise thing to do. but then there were so many people opposing the whole idea of it.

sigh. should i be happy that i can still rot my ass off for another month. or should i be sad cos i am such way behind my friends who have started working. feeling so ketinggalan, sometimes.

25th is drawing closer.

i have only a week's time to be in the same room with 4thsistasoh.

and when 2nd and 3rd sistersoh left in early feb and early jan respectively i will be so lonely.

pillowtalks no more.

happy for her as she is getting married.

yet i am feeling sad as she no longer stays in the same house with me.

nobody teman me. nobody to talk to at night.

how liddat.

sigh.

fifty.

2008-12-06T11:05:00.005-05:00

fifty is just a mere 50, i know.
but then when all the susahpayahness is taken into account for that fifty, the big five and 0 is no longer a mere figure or an amount.
what's important, is the value of it.

do not ever underestimate the value of fifty.

part time job is fun. another credits to work experience gained.
but then can be tiring, too.

earning a mere 50 is not easy too.
now i know the value of money.
and how hard working is.

haro to the world of kiamsiapness.
cheer fifty.
may i forever and ever always remind myself how this fifty is halal-ly and decent-ly earned
and may i, forever and ever think panjang panjang before i spend a fifty.ringgit.
not just for a fifty.
but for whatsoever amount;
even for a ringgit.

-_-

Haro

2008-11-24T13:51:00.003-05:00

there Sun.shine.

i am now back to the reality.
life has been great for the past 6 months or so.
one of the greatest moments in my life. i would have to say.
i do not regret for the decision that i made nor am i mad for the circumstaces that had me resortted to making up that sort of decision.
i am glad that it happened as the way it did.

darn to the people who could not fathom why i did that.
it is my life and i truly feel blessed as i have the opportunity to do so. and it is great to have your family and loved ones to support you no matter what.

i guess my family and my loved ones (eg, close friends) are the only bunch of people who never pressure or talk me into start working. esp my family. till now they never brought up the subject of me getting a job or something. where as the matter of me working has been a great concern for some people. for some reasons that i could not even fathom.
like hello?? why ****ing care so much about what i do in my life?!
pls do not misunderstand. it is not that i do not want to work or something. (i truly truly want and cannot wait to embark into the working world) but what i am trying to say here is that some people just have something to say when they see you not working after you graduated or something.
like hello? sometimes in life, it's not up to me to plan or decide things.
it happened because it happened.
and i do not understand why there are so many sour people in this world. -__-

yes, i may be jobless for another month (i have to be there for 4thsistasoh's big day and hence another extra month off),
or months ahead (if i still haven't found a job and / or havn't start looking for one after that);

i may be poor,

but i feel contented and happy. for now. and for the past 6 months or so. =)

laugh, for if you think i am a failure.
but do not be envious.

Last.

2008-11-15T22:00:00.002-05:00

From today onwards, everything will be the last.

The routes, the places that i visited, things that i saw, path that i took and streets that i walked past, roads and highways that i crossed and walked by, i do not know when i can go back and do all that again.

I could not even go back to the places i visited today.

Tonight, is the last saturday night.
my heart ache a little. just a... little.

It is just another phase; another chapter- the challenge ones.
sometimes i look forward to it; sometimes not.

you know what? maybe not. not at all.

I shall be back, one day.
And that keeps me going everyday when i am back to the reality.

Time like this.

2008-11-07T22:34:00.006-05:00

A costly but sweet promise was made today.
Out of expectation.
And i love surprises, as such. ;)

A promise, a seal, a commitment.

And, and i had my pearl milk tea, finally.

Ops.n.dossie.

2008-11-04T22:25:00.010-05:00

today, is the very last day;
a day to determine the next president of the united states;
a yet to be another historic day if Obama wins.
a day to another better days for the days to come.

tonight is the last night;
to be in the place where you have gotten so used to and font of.

the people. the weird neighbours. the noisybutkindasweet kids. the malls. the whole area itself. the spacious apartment. the study. the bathroom. the storerooms. the walk-in cabinets. the kitchen. the dining area. the scenery from the living room. the hugehumongous tree. the caretaker who drives without closing the car door. the morning school buses. the morning school kids. the morning parents. the 7.30am. the 8.35am. the 3.30pm. the 4.15/4.30pm. the postwoman. the fitness centre. ah.. the pool. the jaccuzies. the sauna. the steam room. the loker room. the dull halloween. that particular wendy's. that particular mcd. the lousy chinese restaurant with the worse buffet ever. the chinese restaurant with the hardest full-chinese menu to read ever.the kroger. the drummets. the futuristiccarwash. and the manyotherthings.

tonight is the bloody night;
where i spent close to rm100 on a 2 bloody yards of black lace which i have yet to decide what to do with it. like really wtf. anyone wants to buy? i do not think i need that much even. triple wtf. let me know if you are interested.

leaving a place has never been easy. never.

you leave the place, but the people who belong and stay behind are still doing the same chores, the same routine, everyday. it is just another day for them. they move on. and it may takes them just a while to forget you and eradicate your everything.

but somehow, it takes you forever to forget how your life was when you were here.
you are basically clinging to the memory that you have during this short period of time that you have here.
you definitely gonna miss here.

but ah well, that's life. life moves on.

eh, as i was typing these out, barack hussein obama wins. =D
wonder what will mrS says later. ahha.

the first ever buburchacha (with superlots of tapioca pearls) that i cooked. no taros. as i could not find any. malas to blog about the taro thing which i innitially wanted to blog about as it was something funny back then (about the taros and sweet potatoes) but then i do not think it's funny anymore. so fi.

unno and arlo. typically means yeahlorh. =)

and btw, i made a fool of myself when i said 'neh' (instead of saying 'there'/'overthere') aloud today. and it was funny to see the look on the face. both surprised and clueless.

Trick or Treat?

2008-10-31T22:52:00.001-04:00

happy halloween everyone.

A confession.

2008-10-28T12:23:00.002-04:00

i have never ever wanted to use my notebook to play games. Because i always think by doing so, it will spoil my baby (my notebooklah). but then sometimes, when you have nothing to do, when boredom kills, you kind of like break the rules and er, your own policy to uhm.. have fun and get yourself occupied with.. online games? aside from sudoku and lots and lots of series. :)

and with that, i am addicted to this:

GEMCRAFT. and this is a snapshot from er.. can't remember which level ah. (was taken some time ago) so basically you just build towers and trenches, create and mix more gems to kills the monzters. each gem has their own specialties. then you can mix and match more gems to create more powerful gems. it looks like forever-never-end game. so many levels to go through. sigh. but very addictive!

am stuck on level 30 cause it's so hard to playyyy liawwww. really sien.

from bubbletank, tactical assasin, papa's pizzeria, to mcdonald's videogame ( don't think you would want to play this, cannot win one! very keksim!), the last stand, music catch, etc (not forgetting mario's adventure!) on this site, i think gemcraft is the most addictive.

go here to feel the surge of adrenaline and be prepared to be kektiok-ed and tulan-ed when the games get tougher.

Passed and past.

2008-10-13T22:51:00.018-04:00

i chatted with two of my besties last week through msn. there was indeed a lot of catching up to do. it was really nice to meet up with some old friends, even if it means msn is the only tool to meet up and to catch up these days.

korek-ing the past was something fun to do. we reminisced and indulged in the memories that we used to share, together. things we did back in high school. food sold in the canteen. the rendezvous. the tuitions. and the people. i was surprised and shamed to say that i have forgotten a lot of people; some that i could not recall their names. some, i could not remember their faces. but still, these people remain in part of my memories of the past that i still withold, strongly.

i missed our school canteen food. remember the french fries? the pops (either canned's or those those in the transparent plastic bag?) uhm.. the fish balls? fish balls with sos cili please! the maggi mee? i remember ordering curry maggi mee was my fav when i had to stay back in school for mandarin class. maggi mee with coke or maggi mee with milo. remember the sardines (the sardines filled roti) which used to cost like 15 cents (or something) in primary as far as i could remember. but somehow the prices for sardines got jacked up as we grew older. and oh yeah, the varieties of keropoks. omg. the nuggets. the sausages.

i think it's in school canteens that you can get the cheapest nasilemak. charmee, charkuehtiaw, kiochapkuehtiaw, kiochapmee, and chicken rice! some more very nice to eat! but hor, it was shitty when you had to fight all the way to the counter to buy the food when it was like so crowded and with so many people elbow to elbow. so much of a hassle. good thing if you are a pengawas. can cabut earlier from class and buy the food first. tsk. and i think as the years passed by, got salad chicken rice some more. then got mee jawa. i remember when i was in f6, we had a culture and trend- to eat in class. everyone kumpul-ed together, sometimes combined all the tables, then had a feast together. the more, the more sedap. but sigh, those were the times.

and on sat, i was in a store, and i saw this:

(the potato starch or something. i remember having it like from kids til like forever. but i don't remember when was the last time i had it already.. guess it was like years ago..) i was ecstatic when i saw them. couldn't resist not buying, although it costs like rm7 (for a strip, consisting 5 tiny packets)? -_-

and this:
and this banana wheat cake or something. i remember having something similar to that. but it's just the sides of the banana is rounder and the colour is lighter. it's like the manchang kuih or something. but has the banana wordings on it. but the one i have above is not so much of my likings, mayb because it has too much banana essence.

and on sunday, i received an email from a friend. and it contains pictures of the things/food that we had when we were a kid! :D

these are some of the pictures.

toraa!! l0L. i think till now they still hav ads on the tv lah. always cheat kids to buy wan. and yeah, the one next to it also, got doraemon onee. i have problem recalling the name for this one. but brendanchan remember what it is. and according to him, it's called din dang. really the 80s' kids lah.

and this oneeee!! i remember this one like so vividly! omg. we were so hooked on this. last time no nintendo ds lite or psp or whatever shits lah. got this one and.. uhm.. got one is arrange bricks one- tetris good enough already! i remember mdmY was so hooked on this (tetris). mylord. they still sell this one in the market. cause i remember my cousin bought one (brick game) for her grandaughter that day then came to my house then right the batteries ran out or something so mdmY went to the shop and bought the batteries for her! l0L don't know if anyone still keep this casio game thingy larh.. don't know where did all these things gone to.. h'mp... if got, sure can keep it as antique.

and the pencil case?! l0L omg. all is metal one. and see the blue eraser? l0L. keeping one in the pencil case is shiok enough although back then as kids, we don't use pen to write! not that i remember. then all the pencils must be sharpened til sharp sharp one. the sharper, the shiok-er. then must stick stickers or drawn out timetable and use magnet to hold it. rofl. damn.

then this one also!! l0L the cartoon part is usually like soft soft like that one, foam padded or something. then right when you press certain button, certain compartments will come out one. l0L. it's like so canggih and cool like that. l0L

and the china panda watercolour!!!! l0L. i think everyone of us used this one for class seni. then right, when lion king movie came out, my dad bought one lion king one for 4thsissoh (the cover is like so fancy one, got lion king and samba like that. then she was so protective of that watercolour. don't let me use. -_- and remember the double sided colour pencil? then got luna staedtler one. then fiber caster came much later me think.

and these cutesey erasers! adoi. i remember i was so hooked on collecting all these erasers, then as a result, jojo noodle snacks (i think it's called jojo lah. not quite remember. it's something like leefah mee/ mamee noodle snacks onee) was my fav keropok. but inside always got eraser wan. then leefah mee is like got voucher or what like that. can get another packet for free if got rm0.2 voucher. something like that larh. l0L then ngeh si eat see can get another packet for free or not. wakakkakakak. and yeah, i think i still keep those erasers! l0L

this one still remains one of my fav jello lah. always put it in freezer first before eating it. so yummy. i will crave for it once in a while. you all remember got one tiub one like you either put it in freezer or fridge then drink the yellow, purple, orange syrup onee. aiyor, don't know what it is called. but i remember it was like rm0.2 per tiub? l0L i saw it in the store that day. but didn't buy.

and this one!! l0L. omg. always use it as cash register when we played jualbeli. then tear papers into small small pieces, then write like 10 cents 5 cents etc etc. put it underneath the keyboard then punch the keys on the keyboard as we 'key in' the prices. omg. then i remember using my dad's old typewriter as cash register too! then got play masak masak (with all the masakmasak tools inherited from my sisters. omg) then use leaves and plants and flowers as the ingredients! omg. really wtf. and if nobody wants to play, then talk to the barbie dolls instead. omgggg. rofl.

and this bubble thingy!!! i remember it was 5 cents!!!!!! blow til face turn blue sometimes when the stupid thingy didn't work. making big bubble (or what u call it?) was the main aim! omg. like to see who is more kiang and lihai like that! omg. but i remember it stinks lorh. got minyak smell like that.

and sugus!!!! omgggggggg. some more want choose colour onee. but even now, when i have coloured mentos, i still choose the colours! l0L.

and you all remember the recorder or not? for kelas muzik one. it was such a triumph thing when you know how to play the recorder like that. last time larh. l0L

shitlah. i don't think the kids do all these these days. different generation. more canggih. more techvy liaw. how many of them can actually sit still in front of the tv and watch disney cartoons? they play online games. or play their super high tech gadgets. i remember i was so setia to kfc kids fun club on sunday morning and disney cartoons. really wtf.

and laura my friend posted an entry about bakkuteh, as a result i was like so even missed it so i cooked it on sat. (thought of cooking it weeks before but been procrastinating. then i saw the post, then made me even more tempted to cook and eat larh~) =D

i want to write something about bubuchacha that i cooked.. but *yawn*. i'll write about that on the next entry. tatas~

me ♥vies.

2008-10-06T20:49:00.007-04:00

other than mcD sundae/cone (yeah i know, why mcD right. sometimes good food doesn't have to be expensive to be good. and i don't indulge in good expensive food like 24/7and i don't need expensive ones to make me happy and satisfied either.), i love ben and jerry's more than any other icecreams we can find in the market, be it coldstone creamery (which i had my first try the other day), haagen darz, baskin robbins (i like baskin more than haagen darz), leckalecka, scoops's, or whatever famous brands and expensive icecreams/gelatos you can find. wtf. it's the best icecreams with fancy name and fancy descriptions of the flavour of the icecreams. notice the flavour for the one in the picture? it's 'everything but the...' it makes you probe further by reading the fancywincy descriptions of the flavour to find out the flavour and taste of the icecreams~

didn't quite like this at the first bite because i find it way too sweet (too much chocs bar chunks). but soon later, it tastes like heavenly. and i find the heath bar chunks, white chocs chunks, peanut butter cups and chocs covered almonds blend spendily and perfectly and thus creating a heavenly complexed sweet ice cream that makes you crave for more after a spoonful.

notice the tiny ben n jerry's versus the big oneee? omg. it's so kewt. and i think it's expensive too, i mean like for a tinyweeny one like that. but owh well, kewt things are always more expensive like that. wtf -_-

and yea, i cooked sarawak laksa yesterday after weeks of craving for it. laksa without prawns cause wanted to avoid allergy reactions. and the laksa was goodd and yummy~ =D but too bad no wan tsui (coriander), so had to replace it with cilantro and no sambal and sengkam (lime) and no yellow noodles (i love laksa mee instead of laksa bee hun, o hail laksa mee!!! =D ) and couldn't find the korean noodles (don't know what it's called) from the store so had to use beehun but thank god the bee hun is not so fine.. at least managed to find taugehs. owh well, i had my laksa, so what else to complain? ;)

to a buddy.

2008-08-02T00:01:00.002-04:00

i wish i could be selfish.
but then i couldn't.

i am losing you.
no, i have lost you to be exact.

you are in my thought, as always.

Nanny.

2008-07-21T21:48:00.006-04:00

today i babysat Theadore, the chihuahua. =D
so happy!!!! and i spent so much time under the sun today.. a bit not happy. now even more tanned. sigh. i hate my skin. seriously.

so while Theadore was napping away inside his cage, i cycled 2ndsistasoh's old rusty mini bicycle around the backyard. under the hot scorching sun. obviously. T_T

mdmY told me if Theadore didn't come, i would have stayed inside the house all the time. which is true... l0L.

dad with him. so cute. he loves to be sayanged like that. look at him. muakaka

with the tongue sticking out. l0L. triple omg. so cute!

mdmY with him. this was taken yesterday on his first visit to our place.

i brought him along when we went grocery shopping earlier.

he kept bo si tiam (moving around) so i decided to put him inside the bag. so he showed me this very tulan look.

so shy!! l0L

he was napping with his rope on. so i thought i could just remove the robe so that he'll be more comfy. then right, i went into the house and washed my hands and when i came out, he was no longer in the cage. really had an heart attack. and he was standing near the badminton net, staring at me. luckily dad was around, mowing the lawn. so he carried him back when he fin mowing.

Hunter!!! =)

2008-07-14T21:58:00.007-04:00

mrS looks so damn handsome and sweet here. but unfortunately hunter was so active and kept moving around else the pic will turn out really nice =(

countless attempts of taking pic of dad and hunter failed cos hunter kept moving and moving. =(

me and hunter. notice the really cute small scarf around his neck?? wakkaakak so damn cute. he's sucha nice dog. very guai wan. doesn't bark at all. and very huggable!!!

but unfortunately, hunter is not mine. T_T it belongs to my bil (Bro in law)'s niece. BUT the best part is that my sista in law offers to give me a chihuahua. and chihuahua is one of my fav breeds. =D i'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking happy!!!!

BUT how to send it back to malaysia? for sure gotta deal with all the paperwork thingy. mdm Y gave a red light cause she said she doesn't want to go through pain and blablabla again. and i am not sure whether dad allows it or not. he doesn't seem ok with the idea and told me he's like mom and doesn't want to go through that anymore. sigh. (we are still mourning for dadadarling's passing, eventhough i hardly blog about her on her anniversary. speaking of which, it'll be her 10th-month anniversary on the coming 16th july. T_T )

sigh, whatever it is. i really want a pet. i really want to keep a dog or rabbit. what a life without dogs/rabbits. lordgeez. really so lala like that. life without a dog is so incomplete.

hunter really made my day. i was actually so damn mad at 2ndsistasoh cos she sprayed some room spray or don't know what in the whole house and i was sleeping and the smell woke me up and i felt damn dizzy. i really cannot stand some fragrances or perfumes or whatever airfresherners that have strong smells. they goink me out. i scolded her, slammed the door and went back to sleep though i nearly choked myself to death. and refused to get out from the room when the visitors stopped by. not until my dad came over to the room again and said they are getting the dog out from the car for me to see! i jumped off the bed and hurriedly went to the living room and hugged hunter!!

i'm so excited to blog about it that i didn't bother to add in the raspberriescherrythingy onto the pics. finished my dinner at 7.30pm and i thought i have to wait at least half an hour before i take my shower (that's what my ex housemates told me. no shower right after meals. must wait at least 30 mins. else will become fat.) i really oblige the rule eh. wtf. doesn't make any difference since i'm so damn fat now. wtf. but whatever it is it's already 8.45pm. so i should really go take my shower. wtf.

(pls pray that i get green lights to bring the chihuahua back to malaysia okie. pls!)

yet another..

2008-07-14T03:32:00.003-04:00

i cant bloody sleep soundly IF i didn't write these out.

i hate ********.

dont know why on earth need to cause me so much troubles?! and made me stay up till so late just to find out my record does not exist. then how then how then how now??!!!

why on earth for holygracioussakes do they have to make our lives so superbly complicated and ma huan? why need us to fill up those questionnaires when the stupidmorondarndest thing doesn't even work at all! my name is on the listt! i so can prove to YOU that but how come is not in your blooodyhellovacacated system!! tell me HOW NOW! how now how now! T_T

darn to the idiotlalas lawmakers and the persons behind these whole idea- the kononnya bijaklalas who suggested this to be done to us and who added another obstacle along our paths just so when we thought everything's over!

i'm so ****ing pissed. and worried.

rant.

(edited: and it's not bloody 12.32 as shown below this post for the time i blogged this entry, but it's bloody 02.52 now. the time setting is meant for toronto time not SK's! so now y'folks know how much time i've spent trying to logon to the stupid site in my attempts to fill up the stupid questionnaires! *fumed* really wtf.)

2008-07-07T22:28:00.002-04:00

just got back from a roadtrip last night.
the roadtrip was fantastic.
shall blog more about it later.

FOOD FOOD FOOD

2008-06-25T17:49:00.003-04:00

of all the things,
i am actually craving for ROASTED CHICKEN RICE + MEE JAWA with SATAYS now! grrr

To WPeng,

2008-06-24T15:09:00.016-04:00

the saviour,

From helping me printing out my assignments (back in hostel) and speeding me to the cyber café to print out the assignments to helping me to hand in the assignments due to my forever-last-min attitude and b4 i got the printer (was dragging my feet to get it obviously) i truly appreciate those times when you came and helped me out.

Remember how I used to tell you that I’ll change the next sem and cut off the bad habit and do the assignments ahead of time regardless of what and how I never kept those promises? L0L.

remember how I poured the stupid orange yogurt juice into my bag pack during orientation?! L0L.

You truly came to aid when I needed your help. And I really appreciate that.

the partner-in-crime,

Whom I asked for favour when I really couldn’t attend the lectures sometimes [like i woke up real late as a result from burning mid night oil for the assignment(s) ]. ‘peng, help me sign my attendance! Remember!’

And how u asked me sign for u when u couldn’t make it. Wakakakka.

Really so berkerjasama when it comes to skipping lectures. BUT i RARELY skip class ok. me very good girl wan.

the driver,

who always drove us around. and man, she could really remember the horrible roads in penang. Gonna be the best penang tourist guard! She knows where to get the yummy breads, the best icekacang etc.

the notes provider,

She was there to provide me with notes before our finals from first year to final year cos she always know there are notes which need to be photocopied and read while I always the one who doesn’t know what’s going on.

the study partner,

When it comes to group study before finals.

Knowing she’ll be easily distracted if she does her revision in her room in hostel, I will usually ask her to come over to my place so that I, being the mean one can always force her to study. But somehow we will end up cakap kosong and makan a lot! Either that she’ll hop over to tesco and do the grocery shopping and i will go over to the mamaklorry and buy my tauhu hua!!

And when I stayed in the hostel, I’ll ask her to come to my room and study together when I couldn’t finish studying and when I worried like hell for that particular paper. So i’ll ask her to come and teman me so that we’ll go through the revision together and plus, by having her over to my place/room, I wouldn’t sleep cos there’s someone who always nag me and keep me awake.

(she was my wing neighbour and stayed a floor below my room and i used to give her a missed call and that's the sign for her to come out from her room, and i'll talk to her cos that way can save phone credit! wtf and we will usually shout out our names loud like we own the whole wing. wahahahhaha)

And, and she always sit either in front of me or behind me during exams. (when I forgot my angka giliran that day when the result was out, i had to sms her and asked her my angka giliran! wakaka. she's like my living organizer and secretary ok!)

To my friend and my bigmama, who has gone through the thick and thin together with me in uni, happy 23rd birthday! have a blast~ huGsss!!!!

Uncertainties

2008-06-23T00:05:00.006-04:00

i hate uncertainties.
2 days ago i received a really bad news.
a news that was meant to determine the path that i shall take after this; my future as per se.

and i thought i could get over and not be saddened over this news yesterday.
and there was a party. there was whole bunch of really nice people. then there was a campfire. everything was perfect. i wasn't bored. i had fun.
but still, it couldn't change the fact that the new has indeed turned my world upside down.

i don't even have the mood to blog about the party that was so awesome now.

i was supposed to bound for somewhere else when i got back in msia in aug, for good. i was supposed to. i didn't plan. but somehow it was something that was supposed to happen. i was glad that i'm heading towards thing that i so really want and eager to do. there was a hope. back then at least.
the news really blew me up somehow.

now, my future is doomed. and is filled with these whole bunch of craps and uncertainties that i have to deal with.

one thing for sure, my main option and priority has to be crossed out permanently.
and i'm really really sad about this whole thing.

option B, start sending out my resumes in july. be prepared to work. for if IF i'm lucky enough to get a job. uncertainties kill. really.

i have got no mood even to swear now.

i wish i'm a smart professional graduate. instead of someone who stupidly did english for her major. of all the things, why english? why not something else?! really pekchek. sien. now say anything also useless. stress.

with just a snap, everything is gone. and because of some ridiculous unforeseen circumstances everything just got screwed.

and now, i'm basically a jobless graduate who has no bright future.

the news hit me so bad. it basically screws my holidays.

and to wpeng, i need a job. and tell me how and where shall i start?
(and i couldn't add any comments for ur blog entries. u'll have to check out the setting for your comment and all cos it says only group members can add or something. hope ur grandma is ok now.)

i'm bound to work.
like it or not. love it or not. that's the way it is.

learn to accept it. i know.
i will, i guess. one day.

screwed

2008-06-14T10:50:00.002-04:00

by the stupid weather!
the party has been officially cancelled this morning! omggggggggggggg!!!!!!!
waking up to getting the stupid news isn't a good thing.
what a bad start of the day!
so now i'm grumpy. wtf.

party's gonna be postponed to next sat. so lord, pls grant me a perfect weather next sat okie? puhleeze. loveuforeverandever. amen.

so to cheer me up. my BIL suggested we go see a gay parade later and they all think i should get out of the house since i've been staying at home since the day we got back from the road trip (except the time when i was forced to buy two bloody blouses for a special occasion! and the second time when i was lured into going out by 2ndsissoh who told me we'll be going to the store which i like so i went but was disappointed with the store.) they said i need to be exposed to sunlight. wtf. (but how to be exposed under the sun when there's no blody sun at all? everyday so dark. everyday so cold. everyday so blody freaking sickening. stupid weather. i so need a sunny warm day. omg.

and. and i need to be exposed to more humans.

perhaps that's why i'm gonna be exposed to more gays. later.

wtf.

Love affairs

2008-06-13T17:46:00.012-04:00

last time i was so obsessed with her unfaithful.
now -

this and this.

it's a sin. once u listen to them, u would want to listen to them over and over again.

gosh. i so love her.

and i always think there's a similarity between leonalewis and mariahcarey.

i was looking at aliciakey's music video and was reminded of how long have i left the piano at home untouched. and out of curiosity, i tried googling for the long-lost but not forgotten piece of historypuzzle that i once had and will forever possessed. a jigsaw that i'll forever treasure and remember- something that i can always look back and be proud of whenever i feel like the dumbest person. at least.

spotme.

days and days of strenuous practices, scoldings from my piano teacher and the number of tears that i dropped on the keyboard brought me that far. and now that i've returned all the knowledge and skills i've learnt and acquired throughout the years to her, i seriously feel everything is so wasted. i never made it to completing my grade 8. and that's such a shame. i know.

back then, juggling between f6 and the number of pieces that i had to practice every single day really drained me out. our aim was the appealing perfection and satisfaction- another high distinction for our credits. laying my fingers on the keys no longer seems to be something i enjoy. it was a matter of getting good grades. on top of it were the amount of stress and lack of enjoyments. although there were people like my piano teacher who told me i could do it and can always achieve good grades, like the previous year and the years before. but somehow i no longer had the inward force and my self motivation to push me to work harder towards the goal. and alas, i failed my gr8 with 2 marks away from the passing marks.

i vowed to work harder the very next year and be persevered. my piano teacher told me i could do it. and i believed i could too. but i was then in upper 6. and again, was loaded with so many things at once. and it seemed that working towards to achieving a pass for my gr8 was highly impossible. what more to say a high distinction. i tried to rekindle my love with the piano and to find something, something which i enjoyed and loved back. but what i saw was the impossibilities to achieve a high distinction. i aimed for a mere pass. but deep inside, i knew i couldn't make it. somehow. i gave up. and screwed my second attempt. with 4 marks away from the passing marks this time. and all the money my dad invested on me for my benefits are gone and wasted. i felt sorry. so am i now.

and with the hope of attempting the third time (omg, so malu!), we all knew i couldn't make it anymore as i was bound to enter into university. and at the end, i left with crippled hands and unruly, impossible hope and scattered dream to complete what i've left incomplete.

omg. suddenly feel so emo. wtf.

if i had the chance to redo and delete that particular path and piece of history in my life, i wish i had never achieved that far in gr7. a spark of achievement robbed me off my love and enjoyments i had over the years i played the piano. perhaps, without that achievement, i could at least get a pass for my gr8. who knows.

i even considered to do music for my degree when i did the applications to uni. omg i know. but somehow i knew music wouldn't bring me further away in my life as i've no patience in teaching so teaching piano is definitely out of the question. and plus, i seriously think that playing piano should be something i adore. not something as my profession. and definitely not something out of obligations.

whatever it is, i can no longer set my fingers on piano again. and i havn't been playing it for 3 years. i have forgotten how to play and serenade a piece melodiously. and my fingers are too stiff. the sight of the piano left untouched with pile and pile of dust collected over the years has me the urge to complete what i'm supposed to complete. but the touch of the keys. the sounds of the melodies. are impalpable to me. now.

sigh. i wish i could play the piano again. somehow..

nonetheless, i have an implicit unconditional love. for it.

Sais

2008-06-12T19:13:00.015-04:00

pls note that i wasn't holding up my fist or what in the picture (like putting up with the informal everyone-knows-it act like 'yesh!' or what). i was just trying to shove a strain of hair away from my face.

ok. back to what i'm supposed to blog.

the road trip was okie. lotsa stopovers in between. it was tiring in a way that we had to shift from motels/inns/hotels every single day. nomadic life. and mdmY was saying that we were on the run, like the refugees like that. wakakakka.

too lazy to post up the zillions of pictures that i took. though i already ps-ed some of it. but heck, too lazy to post up.

i'm kind of excited for the party that we gonna have this sat. i mean, my life's been so dull as there's not much of happenings lately. ok, mayb there's.. like i havn't shitted for 2 days now? wtf.

u guys have no idea how much pain and susahpayahness that i had to go through and endure during the roadtrips ok. i'm so gonna reveal about my secret that i've been keeping away from public (except my family!) that i do have constipation problem ONLY when i'm out of the house and on the move like- traveling, shifting from a place to another and stuff. i've this really retarded attitude (not that i can control it or whatnot) that i cannot shit except when i'm at home. grrr

the sohs know about it and 4thsissoh got me packets of fibres. and i've been taking this fibres for quite some time now whenever i feel there's a need. so anyways, as retarded as i'm, i was reminded by 4thsissoh to bring the stuffs here. so fearing that i might encounter the shit problem that drives me nuts, i brought packets and packets of the stupidstuffs here.

i brought it with me when i was on the roadtrip, but heck, the stupid fibres thingy didn't work. and i felt so damn awful with the bloated tummy, and felt guilty to eat too much when i didn't shit for days. so u see, how to enjoy my holidays like that. cis.
and the major concern my family had everyday was - whether or not did i shit that particular day.
but best thing is, once i said i am gonna try go pangsai no matter what, fulamak, i was like the almightyqueen. everyone had to give way to me, and the washroom is all mine. i could sit on the toiletseat for hours - just to find out my shits are like the minniemouse's sais! (literally means, very little) and then when i got out from the toilet, everyone gonna ask me ' did u manage to shit? shit a lot or not?' wtf. so you see, my constipation is really an issue, big ones! in the Sohs.

and i have no ideas how many bananas had i consumed! and the most expensive bananas that we bought is one freaking dollar for one banana!

my friend actually taught me a method, and that's to eat one banana then consume a cup of coffee soon after that, and according to him, that will surely make u lausai. i tried that before when i was in us. it worked somehow. i shitted but i didn't really lausai. just pang sai. wtf.

ok, enough for my shits.

i cant wait for this sat! 2ndsissoh has invited all the msian students to come for the party so that literally means i get to meet up with more humans instead of face to face with the same old persons everyday. and i hope there'll be a campfire cause i'm longing for one! i love campfires! weather has been driving us mad lately. gloomy and rainy and cold weather. makes me feel so pekchek all the time. so seriously hope and pray that the weather will be perfectly well and fine this sat. fingers crossed. amen.

i miss my friends. kawankawan skalian, am i dah forgotten?lama tak dengar from u all.
miss hanging out with my friends and girlgirl,boyboy,jien,joanne,ahsiang. i miss these people heaps. sigh.

miss skuling too. miss attending lectures and jolting down notes. wtf.

i soooooo don't wanna stay in overseas (kalau ada chancelah). swear. i wouldn't want to stay anywhere other than msia! dump me in kl which has the worse dirty polluted air and so damn congested, or even pg which comes second after kl, i also don't mind! but definitely not anywhere outside msia! sucky weather makes people grumpy and moody. makes my skin damn dry and cacat. and all the pimples.. sigh. really no cure. feeling ugly and retarded. i need a dramatic and extreme makeover! to cheer me up. like seriously. god.

ps: i swear by my name that i'm NOT gonna cut my hair for the next half a year. miss my long hair so much so that i've been complaining to mrS and mdmY every single day and don't know how many times per day that my hair damn short and that i'm so regret blablabla.

me: pa, u think my hair is nice?
mrS: yes. very nice leh.
me: but dont u think it's too short?
mrS: nope, just nice.
me: but i like my previous long hair! so nice!
mrS: where got, this one nicer.
me: serious or not?
mrS:uh nya one. i like this one. last time one toh lok eh sui. very sam si soi (means messy).
me: but i like it so much and i miss it still!
mrS: *speechless*
me:damn regret! sien lah.
mrS:it'll grow longer one. don't worry.
me:but i want my long hair back now!
mrS: *speechless*

then i'll go over to mdmY and bug her with the same questions.

and i think they are so sick of me asking and telling and complaining to them so much about my hair that i think they gonna disown me soon. wtf.

to a buddy,

2008-06-07T01:26:00.007-04:00

happy birthday.

home sweet home.

2008-05-28T01:51:00.004-04:00

i miss home. lots.
i miss yongkwang's chamee. lots.
i miss my bed. lots.
i miss my four pillows. lots.
i miss my bolster. lots.
(sometimes i wonder how can people sleep without bolster? it amazes me how people can sleep without bolster. i can't sleep well without bolster. i've been having nightmares every nite. yes, EVERY BLOODY NIGHT since the day i got here. terrible. and i hate nitemares. i hate dreaming. paling benci to max. and i don't have bolster here. DON"T HAVE BOLSTER. huhuuhu i only have one bloody pillow to sleep on. can u imagine? life's sucks. how can i sleep with only one pillow? dahlah tak ada bolster. cisbedebah. terrible. no wonder every night got nightmare. huhuhuh :'( )

and to CYisTaller,
i'm going off for a road trip tomorrow which is your 29.5.2008 for like more than 10 days and as far as i remember, u'll be going back to your hometown on that day (if not mistaken).. and since i wouldn't be able to say this personally and directly through msn (i havn't seen you online for ages and i don't know when can i logon again whilst away.):

have a nice safe and pleasant trip back home okies.
enjoy ur holidays and the presence of your family and friends.

have a blast~ =)

ps: gei woh hui yin, mei you de hua, woh jiu yao bau jing la.
(give me a response. else i'm gonna make a police report.)

kai wan siao la. (just kidding.)

and to wpbigmomma,
PLS update me with the convo thingy (if there's any) okies.
drop me an email or something.
will get back to you asap whenever i have the access to the internet or something.
thanks heaps. =)

i lost it.

2008-05-27T20:23:00.003-04:00

alas. i lost my handcuff.
sien.
can no longer get a replacement.
very angry. very mad. very sakit hati(heartache).

spiders

2008-05-26T11:38:00.001-04:00

i hate spiders.
and am scared of them.
i mean like seriously.
but i guess i'm getting really good in overcoming the fear.

i killed one of the ugliest spiders i've ever seen in my entire life yesterday.
wakakakakakakka.
happpyyyyyyyyyyyy. =)
stupid spiders.

SobSob

2008-05-20T10:57:00.002-04:00

i'm gonna blog about my hair again.
i'mmmmmmmmmmmmmm so blooooooooooooooooooodyyyyyyyyyyyyyy regreeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttt for getting it cut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's soooooooooooooooooo shortttttttttttt nowwwwwwwwwwwwww that i'm misssssssssssssingggggggggggggg my longgggggggggggggg hairrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

bored and restless

2008-05-19T10:54:00.001-04:00

i think i'm going nuts.
sien sien sien
arghhhh

the story begins with

2008-05-18T12:00:00.006-04:00

... tonnes of pictures:

catching up with qi over breakfast a day before he left.

the precious strain of kimmo.
wakakakkaka

the yummylicious bowl of laksa special.
wouldn't be special without the strain of kimmo right, qi?
(but no doubt the laksa was really good.)

mr poser, the qi.

mark.

me,myself.

salma M and wpbigmomma's trip to kch:

dinner with salma M and wpbigmomma.

missing hk as much:

krispykreme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
really go nuts and donuts seeing them.

the donutilicious chessy something something.

i was at the Spring with salma M and wpbigmomma during their trip to kch weeks ago. and right, i found out the big apple donuts & coffee, and mylord, there was sooooooooooooo manyyyyyyyyy people queuing up to get the donuts!!! i came across the shop in someone's blog and heard the donuts are famous. but i dont know cause i havn't tried it. so my guess is-they'r good indeed.

i remember when secret recipe opened its first branch in kch (the one located near upwell, uhm..whats the name of the road again? sigh..lupa sorry...), it wassss soooooooooooo sooo crowded. the whole shop was like gonna burst. i remember there was a night 4thsistasoh and bil drove past the area, i was like fullamak and was behtahan seeing kch people behaving that way.
and now look at the secret recipe now. you can easily secure a parking. tsktsk.

this is what happen when a new shop/eatery outlet sets up its new branch in kch. people will start flowing and buzzing in like bees and later right, the outlet will become 'cold'. so don't be depicted by the crowded atmosphere. it doenst prove that the food is good sometimes.

but as for the big apple donuts, i myself isn't really sure about it.
my guess is donuts itself are jewels by their own.
whatever it is it cannot be compared with krispykreme i think. l0L.
but still, u can't have too much of krispykreme. else u gonna get diabetes.
there was a point in my life that i got so sick of krispy kreme when i was in the states.
my love for it revived when i was in hk that day. went nuts and excited. and suggested mrS and mdmY to have breakfast there. and they agreed! yayy. =D i went nuts of cause.

my territory.

a bear;
and another murakami's which i got from hka.

fav corner in the room =)

another one on the floor.

me and my handsomeboyfriend.
proudly present to you, mr mahatma gandhi. ;)

red rising sun.
it rhymes. wtf.
sunrise in hk.

r0ckkkyy mountains.

mrS

mdmY

love this shot to bits. mylord. im so proud of myself. wtf. whee =)

the retarded me.

taken by salma M and kuching international airport while sending off aunty.
btw, i cut my hair.
and it's superbly short and uglyfugly now.
sigh.
i regret.
R.E.G.R.E.T
and missing my long hair.
sobsob.
but the haircut was really cheap.
so long never had sucha cheap haircut.
i miss lina.
my old hairdresser who cut my hair since ages ago;
from the saloon i'd been dutifully and faithfully visited each time i would like to cut my hair.
but the new hairdresser is ok too. no offense. but i don't like the ambiance of the new saloon.
=(

speaking of hair, i've got to admit that i'm so chicken to chopping off my hair and trying out the new hairstlyes. i'm not the type who would actually try out all sorts of haircut, be it short, layered, permed or whatnot cos i dont have the balls to do it most of the time cause i scared the outcome of it will scare the hell out of me and i would end up living in hell till the time i could get a new hairstyle again. and because of that, i've been having the same old new hairstyles for the past few years. until now.
i'm sucha dull person. i don't know why.

and i seriously wish i've the balls to try out new things. new hairstyles. sigh.
so sick of my hair.
now that it's superbly short and ****ly ugly, i can't really do much about it.
hope it'll grow faster so i can do something about it.
i wanted to perm at first. but i scared i'll look really old. and i seriously don't wanna have a permed curly hair during my convo in aug. cause that's so not funny. so in the end i decided to chop it off instead of perming it. and i did it on the eve before i left kch so didn't have much time to dye my hair cause had to rush back to do my last minute packing.
if it wasn't out of a last min thing, and if it wasn't my 4thsistasoh, i wouldn't bring myself to cut the blody long hair. shit. regret now.

the stupid basement is stupidily cold and i seriously gonna die here if i spend too much sitting here doing my work in front of the computer.

my bro in law (bil in short) hasn't managed to set up the wireless network thingy. but thankgod he bought me an adapter so i can get my lappy charged. so since i've not much choice now, i have to resolve to saving every pictures and stuffs from my notebook and transfer them to the computer down at the basement and start doing my stuff.

that's all for now.
cold andddddd cold. stupid weather.

Fumed

2008-05-12T22:52:00.001-04:00

i'm mad and angry and mad and hungry.

Finally

2008-05-08T00:06:00.003-04:00

... the laksa pics (as reminded by the qi) triggered my intention to write.

and secondly, it is because of the stupid connection.
it's so damn slow that it's taking FOREVER to attach a single file!!!!
and that drives me CRAZY! mylord i tell you.

i've been complaining a lot. about the connection thingy.
but apparently there's nothing much i can do about it.
just gotta be patient.
patience baby. patience is the word. the key. lord.
i can't wait.
for next week.
to be exact.
despite the fact that i've decided not to bring my lappy over,
i do seriously hope the connection wouldn't be as stupid as the one back home! uh.

thirdly, i'm gonna blog about the salma M and wanpengbigmomma's trip to kuching.

mrS is having lunchie now. guess i'd better teman him.
blog later. =p

Back at home.

2008-04-29T08:53:00.004-04:00

thanks to the superbly slow internet connection back home, i have not been able to logon as frequently as before. and that means, my daily routines have been jumbled up. =S
finally i have packed my bags home, leaving the place where i spent my last three years.
i'm actually a bit berat hati (se bu de) to leave.
but when it's time to leave, you leave.
there isn't much you can do.

i had my mrS and mdmY over in penang to help me pack my stuffs and all that and came back to kuching with them.
admist being superbly drained out, the overall last few days in penang was well-spent i would say.
my last night in penang... knowing the fact that that was my last night in penang..was absolutely heartbreaking. spent my whole night reminiscing how my 3 years went by in penang till i dozed off and left my haruki murakami untouched on the desk next to the bed.

the hotel was awesome, despite the fact that they don't have a restaurant. i like the bathroom, lots. like the showerhead. the king sized bed. and the scenery from the hotel was... superb. we stayed at the top most floor, the 19th floor. and the scenic view from the hotel at night was memesrizing.
i slept at the sofa bed on the first night. and the later 2 nights, dad insisted i sleep with them on the bed which i did, despite the much protests i put up with. ;)

the moment the plan touched down at KIA (kuching international airport), instead of feeling thrill and excited like how i've always feel when i got back from penang (like you know how u anticipate to come back to your hometown after a much long-awaited period..) but then on monday, it was the total opposite, i was just feeling just so so..
sometimes i wonder, i have made this decision, but why am i feeling this way?

i am actually feeling a bit glad that the stupid internet connection back home is still working.
although the connection is like so superbly damn slow, but.. still i shouldn't be complaining. at least it's working.
i can't get broadband yet. as i wouldn't be here for the next 3 months.
so still..gotta wait til august... arghh. =(

i can't wait to book my airtic to kl. yeah.. i've decided to spend some days in kl with some friends and pay a visit to an aunt of mine before leaving for penang in mid of august.
was thinking to spend some time going after that cause i seriously don't know what i should do yet..
so i really hope mid sem break will be around so i can drag a few persons to do some backpacking trips with me.

i developed some of the redang pics i tookby using the underwater disposable camera.
all the pictures turned out really bad. and i was really disappointed.
but anyways, what to do right.

salma M and wpeng will be coming over to kucing on 1.5.
so gonna be busy til 5.5.
2 more weeks to go before i depart for a yet to be dislosed trip.

shower time.
blog next time.

Redang

2008-04-23T08:52:00.005-04:00

tell me tell me. how can i not love this place.. ?!

candid shot. ok, mayb not. i posed for my room mate to take this pic. :D
but the angle doesn't seem right. :(
look at my terribly and badly sunburnt flabby arms!

me and thy room mate.
look at the sunburnt me.

another big humongous gigantic swing!! love it. i love swings too!
pic was taken by a stranger who occupied the swing for like hours.
i walked up to him and his companion (a guy) and told him, 'sir, can you excuse a bit? i would like to take a picture with the swing!'

and he had no choice but to be a gentleman and took the pic for us. =)

taken with my room mate's olympus. i don't like olympus.
look at the quality of the pic... sigh..
best still is nikon, canon or sony!

me happily posing for this pic. i was really excited and happy at that very moment. =D
i miss those times.. :(

hammock oh hammock. thy queen loves you so!!! :(

me thyself.
look at the sand. look at the beach. look at it. look at it. lord. i love it.

sad pic.. cannot see the water... but more more inn was behind.. :D

shiok sendiri.
took this pic by myself cause everyone elses were too busy taking pics of the inn.

i guess my blog's getting boring.
it's all about redang redang and more of redang.
i'm sorry but i can't resist not to talk nor blog about it.
and a note to STP, thy queen needs your advice on the padi scuba diving thing.
let me know once u're done with what u're supposed to do now (like rushing for you fyp and stuffs..)

Tired.

2008-04-23T07:01:00.002-04:00

finally done with my last and final paper. it was tough. and i didn't know how to do.
disappointed with myself.
why am i so stupid? :(

i'm tired and my brain's toasted.

i wish i've a hammock here.
so i can sit back and chill.

i miss redang.
i miss REDANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunburnt

2008-04-22T02:48:00.006-04:00

missey me was in redang.

and redang was superb.

i love the whole place. the scenery. the beach. the sea. the islands. and everything.
the whole place left me in awe. and i can't wait to go back there again. if there's a chance. if.

went with a bunch of people, of whom 6 out of 24/26 people, i only know 6 of them. majority was my roommate's coursemates.
been wanting to go there. so i don't really mind going there with bunch of strangers. cause the main purpose to be there and enjoy.
the trip in overall was superb. and i got to know several nice people.

for the first time, i really let my hair down and enjoyed the whole time whilst i was there. there wasn't even a time for me to think about any worries and stuffs. all i did was just sit back and enjoy.
except the fact that on the 18th morning, worries and guilt flowed in as i didn't know how to call back home and wish mdmY happy birthday. there was no connection. no line. no nothing.
(and somehow 4th sistasoh called and msged me yesterday and told me that mom's sad cause 2nd and 3rd sistasoh didn't call back and wish her happy birthday too. :( so i had to explain stuffs and reasons that i didn't call back.)

love and enjoy resting in hammocks.
at night. in the morning. in the evening. whenever i could steal some time off alone. to enjoy the gentle breeze, the prestine scenery, the boats by the beach, the beach itself, the sea, the moon, the scorching hot sun. basically everything.
but i forgot to bring a book with me. :(
so not having any books with me, all i did was to sit back and enjoy everything.
it would be nice to have a company too..
imagine this:
having someone resting in the hammocks next to you under the moon. no need to talk. just keep quiet and just sit back and relax and enjoy the peaceful environment, the quietness and most importantly, to enjoy each other's company.
that would be nice and lovely, isn't it?
sweet i would say.
i wouldn't want to leave. i swear.

i wanna get scuba diving license.
don't really like snorkeling. and dislike wearing the life jacket to bits! but i had to put on it. not until when i was allowed by the guard who brought us around that i could take off the jacket so i immediately took it off when i was in the midst of snorkeling and never to wear it again. cause it's so damn ma huan and so uncomfortable. and once i took it off, i managed to dive into the sea, once with ahlong, the guard and another time with another guard.
alas, not satisfied still. best is if i can go scuba diving!

i'm now so dark and tanned and sunburnt.
and it's gonna take a while for the tanned to go away.
it's all worth it i guess.

my coursemate asked me to go back to her kampong back in kedah tomorrow after my exam. and i promised her.
but now i havn't packed my stuffs. and i havn't got the time to get the boxes and stuffs.
sigh.. guess i couldn't make it anymore.

i'm physically drained and exhausted.
and left part of me in redang.
i need to do my revision, i know.
but can i just go to sleep and dream of redang and recall those lovely memories that i brought back with me?
i'm too malas to revise.
perhaps i should catch a short nap. a short one.

i've fallen in love...
with redang.

ps: more updates on redang when i've more free time to do so and provided i've the mood to write.

7th.

2008-04-16T05:09:00.004-04:00

it's dadadarling's 7th month anniversary. :(
miss her heaps stil. T_T
miss touching her face.
miss rummaging my fingers through her furs.
and had her head put on my thighs. T_T
adasoh, luv u to bits and we miss you still..
___________________________________

i had my 4th major paper yesterday, my last major paper.
and it was damn tough.

initially i wanted to wake up like real late today as i hadn't be able to sleep well since finals started last week.
despite the fact that i was awaken by noises (as usual) and alarm, i tidor balik and even then had my brain going through the question paper and the questions that i answered, the way i answered the questions and all. and i found out i did one mistake. major mistake to be exact. and i woke up immediately feeling damn awful and SAD. :'(

yesterday's paper was really tough. it was a linguistic paper comprising three major components: syntax, semantics and pragmatics.
2 questions each for each section. and one outta the two questions for first and third sections, got like 4 cabangs, and in the third section, there were 2 cabangs for the first question and one 100 marks for the 2nd question and i attempted the latter one which i regretted. but i had no choice cause it seemed that i could only do the first half for the first question. even then, i wasn't really sure of the answers too. so i attempted the 2nd one..

and i couldn't finish answering the questions for semantics. damn sad okie dahlah don't know how to do. :(

computational linguistic was so damn tough also. so also as testing and evaluation. sigh. and AND that elizabethan lit too. arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh really feel like dying now!

really hope i can pass.. but for sure my cgpa gonna be like so damn low already. T_T

"pls lord, i really nid to pass all the papersssssssssssss.. i swear i didn't sleep when i sat for all the papers.. ok mayb i did.. for the first paper.. but only for awhile.. and you should really take that into account because this is my first time i didn't sleep during exams throughout my 3-yr undergrad uni life... so puhlezzee... :( "

so anyways, i watched definitely maybe. it was nice. i like the storyline. and it makes me wonder. stuffs. ahem. storyaside. need no more elaborations here.

so yeah, one more day and i shall be away for a couple of days. hopefully i can stop and quit thinking about my finals and just chill kau kau.

and i seriously need a real good cam..

i checked out the disposable underwater camera from kodak, it cost like rm45 and can take 27 pics.
then right, there's another underwater housing for cameras which cost like rm350. but right for this one, it lasts you for life. i might opt for the first one since it's cheaper and plus, i don't think i'll go snorkeling or whatnots like all the time. so mayb it's not worth it. but i do wish it's cheaper, like rm100 or less than rm150. else i would have bought it right away. why must it be so expensive? doh.

i never like to go pc fair. but just when i want to buy:
1. sd cards - 3rd sistasoh forgot to return me my 1gb sd card and i only left sd cards with 3 gbs altogether. =( ;

2. cam batts -i have like 3 sets of nikon coolpix batts but right 2 sets are cacat now and the new set which i started using like on 25.12 when i went to sg, also become siawsiaw already now sien! i dont know why i must get the same brand as the camera instead of getting the kind of rechargeable batteries from energizer or gp, sigh why am i so cacaat?;

3. a new headset - the one i got for free when i bought my lappy, last me for like 2 and a half years, and is now broken into 3 parts but still can be used though it's so damn mafan;

4. and tonnes of other things.

but right, it is held on the 18th this time, when i would not be here in penang at all! how to buylah like that. sien. :(

so many things to do. i gotta do the packings. and i seriously don't know where to buy boxes near my place! it's so convenient, NOT. i wish i stay near hostels/much nearer to uni. :(

so malaas to write/type now.
in fact, i'm running out of stuffs to blog.

my blogs damn dull. wtf.

Teardrops

2008-04-14T05:30:00.003-04:00

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,I
wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

[Repeat Chorus]
So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing,
don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me,
I fake a smile so he won't see.

i'm feeling awful. i mean seriously.
gotta get back to study now.
cast everything aside. and cherry, u must concentrate now.

ps: i checked out my lit assignment. i did it badly. didn't turn out well as i expected. so damn sad over it. :'(

2008-04-13T03:59:00.003-04:00

been procrastinating since like yesterday. and i'm so dead.
CHERRY YOU MUST STUDY NOW!!!!!!! lord.

and btw, i got hooked on this song:
realize by Colby Caillat. =D

V1:] Take time to realize,
That your warmth is.
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you

[C:] If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if We missed out on each other now.

[V2:] Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your sideDidn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by..
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
No its never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you.
[C:] If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now.

[V3:] It's not always the same
No it's never the same
If you don't feel it to.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

[C:] If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
Then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder
Just realized what I just realized
OoOoOOo
Missed out on each other now
Missed out on each other now

Attn:

2008-04-12T02:07:00.004-04:00

i feel awful for screwing my previous 3 papers.
i was hoping to do well for the paper that i sat for yesterday.
did well for my coursework. and i thought if i put in helllots more effort for finals, then mayb i can secure an a. but who knows the paper was like superblyholly difficult. and all the topics that i just glanced through (cos i've no interests in those topics) were out. and i was really so not happy over it okie. sien. didn't even know what craps to write. whatever it is, really hope i can passsssss all the 5 papers, all of 'em..

Missey me will be going back to KUCHING on 28.04.2008. monday. in 2 weeks' time to be exact. 2 WEEKSSSSS.
can't wait to hang out with frens who are in kch. and to qi, i saw ur msg in msn. u leaving soon too right? hopefully we can catch up b4 u depart.

i can't wait for the yet to be disclosed trip in a less than a week's time. cant wait people.
counting my days.
3 down, left 2 papers for finals. one on the 15th and one on 23rd.
yeah i know another paper on 23rd yet i still daring enough to enjoy and chill and have fun before that. reason is i'm running out of time and there's roughly a week in between so might as well grap the chance.

and mrS and mdmY coming over on 25.4. =D

and i cant wait for my trip in may!! yahoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
yeah. not going there on 3.5 but instead 15.5 (fingers crossed!!) cos salma M and wanpeng bigmomma are coming to kuching early may and i'm the host. ;)
and mdmY was saying that she wants to get ready and all that so best is go on 15th.
but we'll see. there might be some changes too. but hopefully mogamoga everything jadi lah.

till then, enjoy a wonderful w/ends everyone.

ps: hope urs arent as bad as mine.
so much readings to do. revision. bah!
and i finally deleted the number off from my contactlist.
ironically, i still keep some of the msges that * sent me. cos why?
cos they hv the sentimental values and i seriously can't bring myself to deleting them.
i realized i just need to go on. and not caring so much about helllotsa things.
and to treasure people that i've around me and to enjoy my life to the fullest whilst i can.

life's like bubbles.

2008-04-11T10:38:00.002-04:00

how do u feel when you are ripped off your privacy?

something happened to me today.
something valuable to me, something which i am pretty much, well, very particular with was taken away from me without MY PERMISSION.

and i'm seriously very not happy about it.

bimbos are therefore bimbos.

2008-04-03T21:05:00.006-04:00

some friends are made for life;

some aren't.

some are your true friends;

some aren't.

these are just the two people that i met;

in one or two of the phases in my life.

i just need to forget them;

regardless of how important they used to be to me and

to just go on with my life.

and to you,

i'm so not gonna be bothered;

by any means,

any ways,

anymore.

whatever happens to me;

wherever i go,

whatever i do,

shall not be your problem;

shall not be your concerns.

after all,

it has never been your priorities nor concerns anways.

so,

why bother right?

you keep telling me yours truly is your bestie,

whenever there's mia,

you protest.

and demand to know

my whereabouts, and

the deepshits i have to go through.

years ago,

after that incident,

i vowed not to get involve in any of your r/s,

though it has never been and will never be

my concern.

whatever it is now,

whatever happens in the future,

whatever that is related to you,

shall not be a concern to me.

in retrospect,

this is one of the many lessons,

that i learnt.

thanks for showing to me,

how a * friend you could be.

despites the years

we've known each other.

whatever it is,

don't * blame me.

this is what you want and ask for.

there lies a hope,

a hope

meet a better someone;

a truthful,

sincere someone;

someone who treasure the bonded friendship;

a someone;

whom i can call-

a true friend.

just when i was so disappointed with this friend of mine,

while writing these out,

and i thought,

i shouldn't be so agitated and disapointed of the past friendship i had with this close friend of mine,

cos there are still so many good friends that i've.

and speaking of which,

one of my besties comes online

just when i thought of her and others.

the friends who are far apart;

carrie,

clarameimei

siewwen,

(names are in alphabetical orders, to show that i don't beratsebelah.l0L)

and many others,

whose names i didn't disclose here,

you guys are the best.

i know how shitty i'm as a friend,

no msges,

no calls,

no emails,

but,

you guys are close to my heart.

as simple as it may sounds,
there's always a cause for everything,

for even the simplest decision one makes.

life isn't so bad afterall,

there's always sunshine;

even on the glummest day

MIA

2008-04-03T01:07:00.011-04:00

I've been away for as long as i can remember.
busy, peeps.
To compesate what i wanted to blog but didn't have enough time to do so, Here are galore of pictures (taken from the period of one month ago till last week)that are still inside the sd card of which i couldn't care less to transfer it to my notebook.
it took me forever to add in the raspberriescherry.blogspot.com thingy into the pics. mylord i tell u. sometimes really want to quit blogging lah! so time consuming lah wei..

taken at kopitiam during the farewell dinner for a sister.

one of the props that i made for my role for Volpone in Volpone, the play.

and behind was my script! muahaha. cleber lah me. wtf

amongst the random scrips that i prepared just in case i lupa. and i was so dependent on them that day cos was too nervous!

my fake necklaces, bracelets, rings. so sohai. wtf l0L

the garlic breads that i baked for the sister (she was missing it, so i baked for her) before she left for kl. miss her heaps!

pic taken in Flame, the steamboat restaurant.

one of the yummylicious fresh mussells that i had at the traders hotel. miss it still. =(
was there for a buffet dinner with another 2 friends.

the lengzhai waiter at traders hotel (i wasnt really sure whether he's lengzhai or not lah. but he does look good from afar. l0L)

sex on the beach (yeah i know wtf.) that i had at the lounge of the hotel. don't really like it.

something i had for dinner at nandos. on the day i fell down.

smiling happily though my foot hurts like hell.

followed by dessert at swensen's before we left for a movie.

mosquitoes bites. cis. this is only part of it. another zillions bites on other parts of my body.

lunchie at secret recipe with sarah after class. the spaghetti was ok. but i like the beef meatballs.

followed with choc walnut cake moments later after we shopped a bit.

taken last thursday, on the last day of class. when all of us had a farewell cum class gathering lunch to attend. the next 8 pictures or so are the pictures taken during the gathering session with my coursemates.

with shelby, (just in case u guys wondering why she looks like mixed she is okie-she's half scottish half chinese.)the one who made us small tiny card/note on vday. (yeah i know i lupa take the pic and post it up as promised. sorry lah okie)

with bigmomma, wanpeng.

from orientation till now. gonna miss you guys, people.

the reversi by coincidence.

zaza! =)

ratisya. =)

christopher and limey. =)

with Fa. =)

i had to attend my last ko-k meeting later in the day. below are the two pictures taken before i went off to the meeting.
this is one of the landmarks in usm btw, was never bothered to take pictures of it not until i walked past the area and decided to snap a few shots that day.

annie. :)

chiong! :)

ELLS 05/06' batch. with a few absentees. gonna miss u guys heaps.

the preserved brain that i happened to see when i walked past the exhibition area. they were packing up the stuffs as the exhibition was over and i happened to walk pass the area so i took like million of pictures of this bottled up brain thingy. wtf.

coming up next, are the pictures taken last thursday night and fri.

dinner at friday's. i had tacos.

i saw this restaurant months ago when kevin pintpoint it to me. and back then i didn't notice that the whole restaurant looks like this (pictures below) not until that night when i finally took notice of it! holy shiet.

toilet bowls are everywhere.
u sit on it. while enjoying ur meals.

and u eat from it/them. how lovely. l0L toilet bowls concept restaurant; all ranging from toilet bowls to sinks. i wonder how the cutlery looks like. could it be a brush or something? toilet brush ah? l0L

really cute right. gonna give it a try before i go back! =)

lunchie at subway on friday

what we had for tea last friday at starbucks: noir! miss it!

something something pasta i had at pastasia on monday during a nightout with Salma M. it was nice. but a bit too oily.

the appetizer we had. bruchetta. not so nice. very biasa i feel.

apparently, they (pastasia) have a new range of menu. i think they take out the thai cuisine or something. (used to be a mixture of italian+thai cuisine). i went there with my roommate for chapgohmeh dinner. and back then the food was really.. not that delicious i would say. and i even told her that i'm not gonna go back there again although i love the mussels i had for my mussles pasta! (BUT i went back again with Salma M. on monday cause that girl wanted to have a try only to find out they have this new menu and stuffs. but still the waiters/waitresses right, still damn membencikan ok. we were taking our time eating and stuffs, makan a bit, talk a bit. then right, still have food left on the plate, we were just taking breaks from eating, and then right, there'll be these waitresses/waitress coming over, asking us whether we'r done yet etc etc so they can take the plates away. they can't wait for you to finish ur food one. they can't wait to take away the plates and all that! the same thing happened when i went with my room mate. if they really want people to go back there again and makan, they seriously need to do something! either that or they would have to buy more plates lah. so that they don't have to rush ppl while people are eating. cis!)

anyways,
the last 3 pics were taken during chapgohmeh.

~the end~

gotta get back to study. take care people.

so many things, so little time.

2008-03-21T13:13:00.009-04:00

i've got 2 assignments and 3 freaking tests instead of 2 due next week. mylord.

yet i've been procrastinating and going out so much so that i'm feeling too exhausted by the time i sit infront of my lappie to start doing my assignment(s).

and i wanted to blog and i had no time to. =(

have a nice w/ends guys! woot!

ps: i watched Ah Long Ptd Ltd this afternoon. gooooo! goooooo watchhhhhhhhhh!! superbly funny i tell you. it made me forget allllllllllll about my assignments & the tests. so nice. so happy. i laughed til i thought i was going to die. wtf. so go watch lah.

musing

2008-03-16T03:51:00.007-04:00

dadadarling is officially gone for half a year.. T_T.. miss her still!!!!! arghhh.. T_T dadadarling. i love you sooooooooo....sooooo muchhhhh.. !!!! T_T and miss you heaps too..

i seriously re-considering to get a new pet when i'm back in kch.. but we'll see..

and today's exactly a month to one of the days i look most forward to. 17.4. i will blog about it later when the time comes. =D

a bit of changes made to the entry that i made long long time ago;
my most look forward dates would be:
15/4
17/4
23/4
25/4
3/5

it seems like april will be such a happening month for me. and not to mention a tiring month.
gotta do my packing in a few weeks' time.. say like 2 weeks' time? hate it.

hiaya. wanted to post up some pics we took during an outing with salma M. on thurs- (the day when i fell down! celaka!)but i still havn't add in raspberriescherry.blogspot.com thingy onto the pics. so mayb next time?

missey me bore with the excruciating pains and limped all the way throughout the night. sigh. having had to walk that way was a nightmare to me! i mean seriously! imagine this, how a 3-5 mins walk became 10-13 mins.. but still, nothing can stop me from going out according to what me and salma M. had planned earlier. and how i treasure and miss the company i had that night. salma M. luv u so! =D thanks for everything! but ofcos, too bad bigmomma w.peng couldnt make it.
dinners at nandos. dessert at swensen. food food food. wheee =D the sight of food makes me goes dinkdoink and jiwang sia. =D

two more weeks to go...and my classes are all done.. T_T
two more assignments and two more tests to go.. and that basically sum up everything for this whole semester.. =( i'm so gonna miss my coursemates.. my lecturers.. and friends and people i met throughout my 3 years stint in pg. T_T (speaking of which, i think i prefer to study than to work. probably i should study again huh? h'm...) and i'll too, miss all the sisters and saints that i came to know about in these few years' time in pg. gonna miss the saturday campus home meeting. =(

super emo now.

Bubbly makes me bubbly. =D

2008-03-15T03:00:00.005-04:00

i'm feeling bubbly.

i fell down. badly. on thurs. aside from gettin several bruises, my bones- cuboid (or what i also dont know) and another bone were 'set apart'. so i limp now. =(

this is what i got when i told one of male frens that incident:

* says (3:16 PM):
now u can train yrself to be gentle

* says (3:17 PM):
walk graciously

so *, are u trying to say that i'm too cholo when i walk? T_T

_______________

T_T

and right, one my closest male friends said i'm like a guy. i'm cho lo (not gentle). and blablabla.

so extra T_T
_______________

am i really that bad after all? cis. =p

i'm just being me okie. and i'm anti manja/manja-ness. so don't expect me to behave super manja or whatnots. and right, i fell down cause i didn't know there was a drain. so it was a matter of carelessness. and for the second statement, i am not like a guy, i was just merely saying 'uhm. ok. yeah. uhuh. ok', i don't talk much, doesn't mean i don't care or whatnots. and seriously that doesn't justify that i'm so macho or man-ly! h'rmp.

but i'm seriously a very dull person.

i can listen to the same old songs (of not more than 6 perhaps?) over and over again for a semester.

and since i got hooked on bubbly now, it has become my latest obsession. and it's the only song i'm listening to right now. yes, when i mean i'm listening to it, it's in repeating mode all the time. and i can never get bored of it. woot ! =D

a bit tired now.
and constant cramps on my right leg drive me nuts.

blog next time.

sorted out.

2008-03-04T10:23:00.005-05:00

we are able to sort things out finally.

"Happiness is a state of a mind."

cny 2008

2008-03-03T10:51:00.007-05:00

a comment left by the qi reminded me of not posting up the pictures taken during cny 08 as promised in one of the previous entries. so here are some of the pictures.

cny day 1:
left: lionel, me, the qi, lawrence.

cny day 4:
mom dad with us.

4th day of cny:
from left -me with nickfung, chen, kiat, ivy, marlene, boonpei, huilee, wanying, weiying, jennifer, john.

4th day of cny:
(from right)-STP (though he was absent during this shot), jian, szeyin, james, boonyian, andy, jack and girlfriend zhenting, charlynchowling, kaeshih, laura, kerlee and me.

5th day of cny:
with ex form 6 classmates- (from right), yuenchuen, weishiung, jeff, hosin and me.
pardon me for the awful looking me in the clothes i wear at home. and yeah, i looked horrible too. i was really sick that day. a day i had the 38.9'C fever.

cny day 6 @ a night before i left for penang:
me with mom dad and 3rd sis soh. brought 2 church sisters to try out kolomee at open-air market. couldn't taste the damn nice gubakmee at all cos tastebuds went haywired and was still so teramat sakit that night.

i did not really take a lot of pictures during cny this time cause was not in the mood to take pictures. and now i don't even remember what i did during cny day 2 and day 3. =(

___________________________________

me and J had a row. i wonder whether things will work out between me and J. i learn to let go, somehow.

wish i could write more about the random thoughts i have and about the things i wanted to blog about. but then again, i am both tired and sleepy. next time perhaps?

half-dead.

2008-02-29T07:53:00.005-05:00

was toiled onto a rollercoaster track of life since last week.
it has been.. well.. miserable to me.
but despite all that, i guess what i had gone through for the past week shall be part of my greatest memories throughout my 3-year uni life.

there was a 3-person group assignment which due on 26.2 (where we had to design a set of 2 hours english test paper for first year uni student) and me and groupmates worked days and nights prior to date of submission. having no basic in teaching methods and teaching theories, we basically had to do anything from scratch. and man, never did we realised designing a test is that difficult. and seriously, it really changed our perception towards the profession of a teacher. gotta salute you, teachers out there!

and there was this survey/research thing that i gotta do for my english paper. another group work. anyways, story aside. i don't want to talk about all these. i used to long so much to go back kuching periodically. but then as time goes on, especially lately, i wish i could have more time in penang. there are so many things that i think i didn't have the chance to do throughout my 3 years here. my uni life..is basically screwed up as i missed out things that a uni student should be doing. i missed out all the fun. tmr will be the first day of march. march shall then be well spent although it will be a hell of a month (cos there are so many datelines and stuff) and finals' in a month's time.

i'm playing back all the songs that i used to listen to like 24/7 (i'm sucha dull person that i can listen to the same songs over and over again for a long time) when i was in my first year. they make me so super emo now that i want to cry. T_T all these songs revived back all the memories i had back then. so here i proclaim to the world that i do seriously hoping so much that i would have more time in penang and i really wish there's 60 days per month.

despite the susahpayah-ness that i had to go through throughout the past week, i prefer to look at the bits and moments i seriously treasure for the past week. well, here are some of the galore of pics that i took for the past week and they basically sum up what i did and all that. pics say it all! ;)

with the girls, salma and sarah.

being a penang sakai as i am, i was introduced to this kopitiam located near our uni (which is another side of where i'm staying right now).

their superbly nice pat kapau or something. i can never get the name of the dish corretly! lets just call it pakkapal. so yummilicious that we ate the same thing again the second time we went there. it makes me go jiwang and it's so addictive!

the bed i slept on for 3 nights. and of which the room has unofficially became my squatter. a place where i can change clothes and bra daringly without having to say ' hey, i change now okie'.

the night when we had macdelivery and feasted cos we were too tired doing the assignment. and when i regretted for ordering too much large fries.

my mate. my companion. my other half in penang. proudly present to you, salma M from mauritius. on a night when we went to cultural night. my very first apperance activity as such in campus (which usually held on a sat evening, and me, being a me, couldn't go most of the time because i feel guilty and dare not to escape church's saturday meeting). but i made it last sat because i went to her room for discussion and later in the evening, we went to the show together. and missey me had to brave myself throughout my 15mins walk back home in the mid of the night. i reached home like a few mins before 12am. omggg.

with my friend, kerlee and carol's sister, mingwei who also attended the show.

nasi kandar. i'm so gonna miss it when i go back to kch.

esp when i eat it with my disinfected and thoroughly cleansed hand. =D that explains why i love having nasi kandar with the girls.

with huda, who calls me 'ing' instead of 'ling'.

kami anak sarawak. with juwi.

with menaka. who will migrate to canada soon.

with azfa. us, among the 10 people involved in the play next week. wish us luck.
and god, i havnt hafal the script yet.

These are some of the people i meet along the way and attend classes with for the past 3 years and these are among the people that i am glad knowing. =)

Ewww.

2008-02-20T04:32:00.004-05:00

i screwed up my 20% computational linguistic test today.
am pretty much dead meat.
the prof was so damn mad at me that she left the class without waiting for me to hand in the paper.
and i had to rush my ass off to the car park not knowing which way to head to and had to rush back and asked my classmates where did she head to and all that. and i stood in the middle of the road, still couldn't find her. apparently she had gotten into the car. and i saw a car reversing. and it was her. i waited for her, hoping that she would stop the car. i stood there, not knowing what to do. she wind down the window and i handed up my paper to her and appologized. but i knew i am not going to pass the paper anyways. sigh.

stupid stapler. i tried stapling the papers. but because i was so nervous, i couldn't staple it properly. as a result, there was so many holes on the papers and i even accidentally teared off a small part of it cause the stupid bullet couldn't poke through the paper and i had to get rid of it.

excessive spending on i dont know what resulted me in kancah kemiskinan now.
i'm officially broke. T_T

mrS's surgery went well and he's resting well. whee =)

3rd soh postponed her flight back to Jeddah to next monday so i hope the documents for that thing would arrive safely before monday.
and oh yea. i didn't have my english paper test on monday cause the lecturer decided to postpone the test. sien.

gotta go through hell from next week onwards. so many datelines, tests, and assignments.
some more have a play to play. me? acting? no way. i know. but i've no choice cause it's part of the coursework. and i'll be graded for that. T_T

why my life has to be so damn kesian one?

STRESS i am.

2008-02-18T04:26:00.003-05:00

i'm absolute pissed off at the thing.

i'm stressed over the test i'll be having tonight. i shall blog about this compulsory english paper that i had to take in order to graduate after i got all my results in may. wtf.

i'm stressed over the test which i'll be having on wednesday. computational linguistic that's the name of the paper just in case you all want to know. wtf.

i'm stressed over mrS's surgery tomorrow.
apparently i fell asleep after talking to J earlier and 3rd sista soh called and told me regarding that thing and told me that mrS has to undergo an operation tomorrow. i was like wtf?!
he went for a check up today and that's quite urgent in that case.

and i have to make up my mind and AND have a fixed and confirmed decision on wednesday the latest for that thing.

life's has been a no good to me lately.
why why why?

a note to Cel.

2008-02-16T04:44:00.013-05:00

dadadarling is officially away for 5 months. man, time really flies!
ur mommy cried when we were talking about you that day at home!
we still miss you like mad. and cny is indeed different without you! you weren't there on cny eve, where all the fireworks soaring in the air and with you going krazee over the sight and sound of firecrackers and how we miss your gelagak when u desperately want to go into the house and survey everything.. :'( miss you miss you miss you.

I realize I don’t talk much about my friends and people around me in my blogs. Thereby decided to dedicate this entry to one of my closest friends.

I consider myself lucky in life in many ways.
One of the few things of which I consider myself fortunate enough is to have this friend.
I get to know Cel through a tuition we both went for in form 4. and since then, everything is history.

One of my greatest regrets was not having adequate time to spend in kuching when I went back for cny. I put all my blames in the stupid viruses which attacked me.
Because missey me was basically sick throughout the whole cny, except for cny day 1, and when my illness worsen on the fourth day of cny, it basically screw up a lot of the plans I had in mind towards the end of my holidays as I was scheduled to go back on the sixth day of cny.

Among my many regrets is.. I didn’t make it to attending a dinner with C on the third day when I got back in kuching because I had to accompany my family. On that day, that particular morning, something bad happened at home. And it basically screw up the whole cny mood for us throughout the whole pre-cny thing. And I cancelled off my appointment with Cel ( we were thinking to have dinner together then go senso for drinks) because I thought I should be with my aged parents that evening when they decided to go to Spring after all family has always been my first and main priority whenever I am back in kch for holidays. cause I always think that my parents are really old and I really should spend more time with them whenever I get back in kuching. As for friends, I am still young and still have a lot of time ahead of me and that I can always make up to replace the things that I missed doing with them. Going out for dinners, for example.

So our dinner thing was postponed to cny day 4. but on cny day 4, I was dragged to kpj in the evening and things were not good on my side, I had high fever, 38.9’c and was basically worn out and man, never did I feel so sick before. I had sore throat, dry cough and was basically losing my voice. And my whole body was aching. And the medicines made me drowsy and sleepy. But still I insisted on going out for dinner with Cel (but we’ll have to go to the airport to send my bff off first before that) cause I knew that would be our last outing together since I’m scheduled to leave on Tuesday so there is not much time left.

However, when my family got back from visitings (yeah, they went with me to kpj, sent me home, then went off again to visit people) later in the evening, I was asked to better kuai kuai stay at home and was not allowed to go to the airport even! and dinner had to be cancelled cause he had big family dinner kind of thing to attend. So well, didn’t make it to going out for dinner nor going to a friend's place with qi in the end. =(

As a friend, he knows me well enough. Other than J, he gets my rants from time to time. And he is indeed the kind of friend who will be there for you whenever you needed someone to talk to or whenever you’re in deep shits.

so to you Cel, sorry for not being able to go out for dinner with you. well, part of it was your fault also can. who asked you to have the dinner with your family leh? i don't know whether do you still read my blogs. and one more thing, i'm glad i called you up on cny eve and we still managed to catch up over a drink at starbucks. cause seriously, i really don't know when can we meet up again.

so whatever it is, all the best in everything la dude.

ps: the reason i'm writing out these thoughts i have in mind was because i know this stupid man didn't know that i treasure my friendship with him as much as he treasures our friendship. so thereby this entry is meant to be made known to him that i do care about my friends, particularly those people i consider as my buddies and good friends (as in people who are worth knowing and be friends with) and not merely acquaintances. i may seem to be like someone who doesn't give a shit to people around me, even the simplest thing like calling up my friends to go out for a cup of drinks and all that or even sending a simple sms as per say, but the truth is, even if i don't call my friends, including those who are reading my blogs, and ask you out for drinks and all that, it doesn't mean you guys are not important to me in my life okie. sometimes i just don't have enough time to make things happen. i do think about you guys all the time. but sometimes it's just so tough for me to make out my time to go out and all that. it's not that i don't want.

..

2008-02-14T08:03:00.012-05:00

constant arguments make you want to put a . to everything.

but a visit to qi's blog rejuvenates my faith and belif.

perhaps i should not be that so anal bitch and selfish moron.

perhaps i should learn to forgive and FORGET.

perhaps i should be more forgiving.

perhaps i should be more tolerant and considerate.

perhaps i should be more loving.

yeah, loving. thats it baby. loving.

teach me to be a bettersomeone.

and it's today that i am reminded that i shall be less moron-ful and be more merciful.

how did you all celebrate vday? i am still spending mine rushing my assignment due tomorrow.

i still remember how i used to spend vday with my bunch of friends ways back then. we used to drive around in the city, hoping to go somewhere nice to have dinner and all. but usually ended up starving ourselves to death because of the stupid traffic jams. and ended up in mcD for our dinner cum supper. but it was nice seeing all those people selling flowers and teddies by the roadsides and all.

i don't get a single bouquet of flowers this year. not even a stalk of flower. l0L. but i think i got a bouquet of roses on vday last year from a close male friend of mine as a token of well, friendship. nothing more than that. it means nothing when someone, particularly from the opposite sex, gives you bouquet of flowers/flower. okie. it is the friendship that counts.

and the last bouquet i ever received was in sept 2007.

nobody managed to get the flowers that i like. i particularly dislike roses. i don't know why.

both two bouquets look fugly. bad combination of flowers. and bad combination of colours and the sorts. don't get me wrong. i do complain. but at the sametime, i do appreciate from the bottom of my heart every single gift that i get.

one thing that i don't quite understand. why must people give their gfs/bfs (if there are gfs out there for give their bfs flowers) flowers only on vday? why not on normal days? why must it be on vday? giving flowers on vday has indeed become a tradition. break the tradition, break the rules. people are just making use of this time to earn big bucks. vday=commercial day.

ps: oh year. my coursemate, shelby made us a special cute note each. so sweeet of her.

i havn't got the time to take a pic of the tiny note yet. perhaps next time. and then i'll post up the pic.

alright, shall make a move now. time to get back to work.

pps: i so wanna post up some of the pics taken during cny 08 in my blogs and facebook. but so tak ade masa to do so. =S

whatever it is. i'll leave that to some other day.

aadios people. to all my kawans and couples out there, happy vday! whee =)

phew.

2008-02-13T03:29:00.004-05:00

back in pg. sad.
got back in pg yesterday afternoon.
and my flight to penang was delayed. sucked.

cny was ok this year. the preparation part was sucked. i never like it anyhow.

day 1 started off a bit bad as had to rush to uncle's house after less than 2 hours' sleep then to kuching specialist hotel (kpj) as he was then admitted.
reached home and slept. was woken up by niece and nephew at noon. went down to wish everyone happy cny and had my lunch. and qi and lawrence and a new friend, lionel visited me.
yes, they were the first bunch of friends who visited me.
wanted to do my assignment at night but couldn't concentrate due to some reasons. didn't feel well so at the end went to bed very early.

cny day 2 was pretty much so so. went to sushi king w my beloved 4th sis.watched jaychow's basketball slamdunk or something. started falling sick.

finally visited two of my friends who stay nearby on cny day 3. and spent the whole afternoon at home entertaining friends. the last batch went off at 6 or 6++pm and had visitors till 8+pm before leaving for kluang station for dinner. was getting so sick that i got moody when we reached my eldest sis's house.

had 2 groups of friends coming over on cny day 4. was dragged to kpj to see doctor later in the evening. had viral infection. high fever- 38.9'C. dry cough and flu.
dinner was cancelled. couldn't send my bff off to airport. couldn't go visiting with the qi to a fren's house. =(

was still sick on day 5. but had to visit J's family as i didn't managed to visit them days before that. left early to pick up 2 sisters who took express to kch. they stayed at my place for a night before departing to kl the next day. went to hocklee to take pic. then brought them to open air market to have kolomee. i had gubakmee. but basically couldn't taste anything at all cos tastebuds go haywire.

and i'm still sick. and i've one assignment due this friday.
and i forgot to bring back my flowery dress. now what should i dress for my skul's lunchie? =(

i wish i can go back kch this weekend. =(

A careful heart

2008-01-28T02:43:00.000-05:00

Careful Heart

You take your time and do not fall in love easily.You give 50% in a relationship, and expect 50% in return.You like to handle your problems directly and immediately. You are alright with not seeing him/her so often. you expect the person to change for you.You measure your desire to whomever you love by the amount of desire he shows you.You fall out of love easily.

i did one of the tests that requires one to do in order to add that particular application in facebook minutes ago and the main purpose for that particular test was to find out what type of heart you have. and this is what i got: a careful heart.

looking at it, i think it is quite accurate.

and the pic looks cute, innit? ;)

i was supposed to go to the shop near prangin mall to get the nutmeg oilments for my sister this afternoon but missey me overslept.

thank god a call from airasia woke me up. if not i would still be sleeping right now. =S

woot

2008-01-26T03:04:00.000-05:00

was thinking to a pic of me with the new pompom beanie i bought but then already packed it into my luggage. =(

i had a terrible migraine this morning till just now. the pain was excruciating. i thought i was going to die. cause why? cause i didn't have the pills with me. wtf.

and noises. blardy N.O.I.S.E.S made it from worse to worst. wtf.

i don't care whether it's the lowest volume but as long as i can hear it, it's fcking annoying.what more to say at time like this when i was engulfin with pains in bed while trying not to focus too much on the pain and try to sleep if not missey me would vomit non-stop. do you actually switch on the volumes on your notebook or computer when someone is say, sleeping? and i hate those sounds that comes from msn incoming messages. some people are just damn inconsiderate when it comes to matters like this.

i had my headset on all the time whenever i feel like listening to songs and stuffs and even if i am not listening to any songs, i will let it on to tapis the noises which come from another source when i can no longer tolerate and maintain my coolness towards the uninvited sounds. other than that, i will just mute the volume. really cannot tahan. really cannot tolerate with people who make noises and care not whether you're sleeping or you're suffering from headache or migraine or what have you. and can anyone tell me why do people do things cholo-ly? for example, slamming the door /or be it putting their bottles onto the table and stuffs? well, perhaps missey me is super sensitive to noises and sounds. uh.

i think i have to go for medic check up or something when i go back kch. i've been suffering from pitam-ness. it's like when you squat down or when you sit on the floor and you try to get up right, then suddenly you can feel the flush of blood gushing up to your brain and that bloody hurts and suddenly you feel pitam. then you have to pause and stand still for a bit then it will be alright. could it be low blood pressure or something? h'rmp.

as i've promised last night that i would blog about the literature paper i am taking this semester, the remaining of this blog will be all about literature stuffs. hope it wouldn't bore any of you to death.

so i'm taking Elizabethan Literature this semester in which comprises both poems (which are covered in the first half of the semester) and some elizabethan plays which is going to be covered in the second half of the semester and is so going to be real tough.

what amazes and impresses me is the metaphysical poems that we have covered in class so far. and no doubt that this is one of the lit papers that really cultivates my interest in lit and makes me appreciate those lit works (that's to say, only when it's taught by one of the most expertised lecturers). Among the metaphysical poets which we've covered so far are John Donne, George Herbert and Andrew Marvell. so here i would like to share with you all two of the poems among the many others which missey me likey:

THE DEFINITION OF LOVE .by Andrew Marvell

THE FLEA. by John Donne

go on and check out these two poems. you will indeed be impressed. =)

yours truly like the way, the method these poets used in creating those poems. there's the use of conceit, which is an intricate metaphoric figure which makes ingenious comparison between two apparently incongruous things or concepts in these metaphysical poems. and it requires one to have imaginative and intellectual thoughts and comprehensions to unravel the analogies of the poems. the poet could be agreeing with a certain fact on the first stanza and disagreeing the fact in the next stanza. and this could go on until the end of the poems. but right, after analysing the whole poem, you will get a big picture of the poem and will sort of understand what the poets were trying to say or present in their poems.

what's more interesting is that the poets will use all sorts of elements to potray something and this including using risqué images or geomatrical equipments to portray something. and the result is therefore, sweet. like in the flea, the poet uses the flea to elaborate the symbol of love. it sounds gross but the poem is indeed a piece of art.

missey me have a lot of work to do. i wonder if i could finish the assignment for this paper before i leave for kuching. i doubt it. the dateline is 12.2. on the day i come back to pg. =(

and the test for the computational linguistic paper will be on the week i come back, either on 13 or 14th. so worse comes to worse, i might have to bring my references and notes back home. and in that case my holidays will be sien to the uttermost so to speak.

i like the lecturer who teaches me this particular lit paper (first half of the semester). she taught us a few other lit papers previously. she is someone who's professional, approachable, friendly and not bias at all. she asked us to do this v-day card thingy for our homework this week. and we need to create a poem (a stanza a phrase or two). not easy winsyminsy kind of poems like those i penned years ago but this poem has gotta contain the conceit elements. tough. =( but that what makes me look up to those poets and appreciate their works. =)

lit, is indeed not everyone's cup of tea.

6 more days

2008-01-25T10:35:00.000-05:00

6more days and i shall be back in kch.
can't wait people. can't wait.

today i went shopping with three sisters. didn't get anything, except for a pompom beanie.

J has finally changed J's cellphone to the gsm kind of thing and thereby making it possible to text messaging!! wootwoot =)

i didn't get to sleep well last night although i was suffering from severe and rigorous exhaustion due to hectic schedules. it was a strenous day. 8am class and classes were in a row straight, followed with a lunchie with salma, sarah, shelby and kevin and joined later by christopher. after lunchie, went to pisa to check out the flea market selling cheap branded stuffs (kononnya). came back later in the afternoon and went out again till 10pm. and later after night prayer, was out again with two friends for supper. by the time i settled down, i was pretty much drained out and enervated.

so went to bed at about 1+am and lied there, turning around in bed, i still couldn't sleep. i sms-ed my 3rd sista who was about to board and several other friends and J (that's when i tested out texting J. last time all the messages failed to go through, but since J's gotten the gsm phone line thingy, it worked!), i thought about my poems, i thought about some other stuffs and till my brain nearly burst but still i couldn't sleep. i thought that my brain's too overactive. and my heart was beating so fast. so i told myself not to think about anything then i can fall asleep easily. the next thing i knew, it was already 5+. and that was the last time i checked out the time.
i was suffering from insomia because of a silly teh tarik.
next time so don't wanna drink teh tarik liaw.

and i woke up this morning with red sore eyes with bad crankish mood. =S

so tonight i shall sleep early.
yours truly gotta make a run now. it's already 12am sharp.
shall blog more again tmr. more about the literature paper i'm taking this semester. =)
adios.

You vs (italized)You.

2008-01-22T10:31:00.000-05:00

i'm so frustrated over certain things that i think i shouldn't be worrying nor caring so much at all.

firstly, i regret for doing form 6. i should have opted other options that i had instead of form 6. dad was worried i couldnt pass, but i somehow proved to him i could do it.

secondly, i regret for hell lotsa things in my life. in the past.
i did the things that i regretted even until now.
i regret that i did the things that i didn't intend to do; things that i was not supposed to say; things that i was not supposed to do. things that i shouldn't be doing at all.
those are among the many regrets.

thirdly, i regret for being in penang. i should have applied elsewhere. or even opted for private college to do the things that i like. i wouldn't be in so much mess right now. wasted too much time, energy, moolah.

fourthly, i regret for getting myself committed into something serious 5/6 years ago and it seems that i'm so attached to it right now that there's no way for me to run away from it. (is this a good thing or a bad thing?)

sixthly, i regret for being brought into this world. my existence jeopardizes my life. i wish i'm a mere shadow. somehow. being a someone, bring you many troubles. being a no one, you wish to be a someone.

many people didn't like me cause i'm being me and because of the tonnes of reasons that they have which i don't really care. i know.
and i never want to comply and give in just because i'm being frank, honest and most importantly, being myself.
and i don't want to be an attention whore anyways. so why bother?

fifthly, i regret all the aforementioned and thousands of others which i bother not to highlight right now. damn. super damn emo right now.

i ain't an attention seeker. but when i really care for that someone, i want him/her to look at me and show me their concerns so that at least i know there are people who care for me. and when that someone is not paying me attention and pay others attention instead, when that others are the type of people that i think is cheap, and that drives me mad because i don't think he/she deserves such attentions.

i know, i myself am being judmental in this matter of which i shouldn't be caring so much. beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder anyhow. so now right, i wouldn't care so much already.

if you like me, you'll like me regardless of how biatchy and how cacated i am.
if you dislike me, you'll have tonnes of whys. i care not what you think of me. the choice's yours.

the choice is yours. i know what your choice is. i can see that you're getting there. but shame on you for having sucha taste. i am so gonna detest you for having sucha bad taste. pardon me, don't get me wrong, missey me didn't want you to pay attention to missey me either. i was just merely not to happy with the choice you made cause i seriously had higher expectations on you. i couldn't believe you would make sucha bad choice. you made you choice and i realized you aint a good thing either cause like many others, you are as cheap as them too so my pre-judgement failed. it betrayed me. i learnt my lesson and thus shall be more aware and contemplate seriously before jumping into a conclusion and finalise my judgements. i'm not asking you to like me nor asking you to hate me cause seriously i don't deserved to be treated transparent-ly as i don't offense you in any other ways. we've never spoken before. maybe just a 'good morning'.a simply greeting didn't disclose much about me. i hope you don't do the same thing i did- jumping into a conclusion about what type of person i am without seriously taking into accounts of my well being and who i really am as a person. whatever it is, i shall, by today onwards not going to hiu you at all cause why? cause you don't deserve my attentions anymore. and yeah, i sympathize you for having sucha taste. tsk tsk.

and to you, thanks for always being there for me.
after so many attempts of running away, i come back to you at the end of the day. i'm sucha silly girl. i know.
sometimes i don't understand why i did that even; knowing the fact that you're the bestest among the bests but i still attempt to run away at times.
thanks to you cause you understand me more than anyone else.
thanks for knowing me more than i know myself.
thanks for being the same old you. and i shall be grateful that you've been faithful and loyal to me all these while. i don't deserve it. i know. i promise you i wouldn't do it anymore.

to you, thanks for being you.
thanks for everything.

it's..

2008-01-22T02:00:00.001-05:00

four months and six days to be exact since when you left us.
your mummy will be back in kch in 3 days' time..
all of us still miss you as much as before..
cny's drawing near.. miss the time when you insisted on coming into the house to walk around when we finish decorating and cleaning the house and stuff, to survey and inspect the whole house and wailing around till we give you one mandarin orange only then you willing to get out from the house..
cny will be different without your presence.
love ya lots. and i miss you a lot. =(

i need a puppy. or a rabbit. ='(

i wish i have a puppy now somehow. i was walking back home and i saw this lady carrying her dog and was on the way to have her lunch or tea at one of the coffee shops.. sigh. it reminded me of my dadadarling. and it was my fault to not remember her anniversay on 16.1.08.. :(

anyways.. on tuesday, if there's no tutorial, my lecture starts at 12pm. so right, i went off to campus at 11.30am today. went to the post office to help a sister to post her mails and hurried to the class. i didn't want to be late, not even 1 minute cause i had to leave the class one hour earlier cause this lecture clashes with my university course (english paper- the compulsory paper that requires me to take in order to graduate). so i reached there and saw no one outside the room, i went into the room, and the room was empty. and that was really weird. finally without hesitating, i called salma up and asked her 'hey! where are u guys? where's the class?'
'girl, there's no class today! i knew u are going to forget! hahahaha'. so siao siao-ly, i went to infront of the library, where's there's one strech of benches and sat there till the time's up while taking my sweet time observing people who walked past me. i remember i used to do that last time when there was breaks in between classes. but i rarely do it this semester because i have classes in a row. so there's obviously no time for this.

my memory is fading. i don't know why.
i keep forgetting important stuffs. guess i should really write every single important thing in my organizer. i thought i would remember that the lecture has been cancelled today and didn't bother to write it down. silly.

mdmY called me when i was in the midst of enjoying my pro-observing-session. so we talked and talked and i asked her about kenyalang; about whether or not have they set out the stalls selling cny goodies. and she told me it's really bad this time. previously, days before the the exact day (where they begin selling cny goodies), the sellers would come over to kenyalang and would set up their own stalls but apparently this year, that isn't the case.

compared to the previous years, i guess cny mood this time wouldn't be as that hebat anymore. and that's really sad ok.

i can't wait to go back already. but there's one assignment that i need to do before i go back. bad thing is: tutorials have been cancelled a few times. so also are the lectures because there's so much public holidays and all that. so what to write lah?

argh.. can't wait. can't wait for 30.1 and 1.5.

missey me will be going shopping tmr since it's a public holiday. i'm gonna venture and explore everything by myself. ;)

i miss pineapple tarts so much. cis.

life.

2008-01-21T11:22:00.001-05:00

today, ok mayb not, yesterday i mean (it's 25 mins past 12am) was a new start for me. mylord i'm telling ya.

no phone calls after 8pm. no msn-ing. no webcam-ing. nothing. nothing at all.
and i shall embrace, embrace and bear baby, this type of life for the next what? 3 months+?! arghhhhh.

now i miss those times that i had; be it just letting the webcam on or just let my msn on while i'm doing my homework or even a call to inform something simple like 'i'm going to sleep now. byess.' or even msn-ing and talking for less than 1 minute when everyone's busy. but at least there's some communications and connections going on. unlike now. when you're totally cut off from everything. no contact. nothing. everything seems far beyond reach. i miss those times. really. i've been like so attached and dependent on msn/calls/skype and icq even(long long time ago when dinasours ruled the world) for the past what? 5 years? or more?
when all these things are taken away and ripped off from me, it's as though my daily routine is screwed and haywired. lifeless.

i don't want to sound super emo and super dependent. but i just feel so different. those were the times i associated with part of my life. those were the part of my life. those were the times which had been going on since like 5/6 years ago. everyday was the same routine. you have been doing the same thing for the past few years and suddenly opsiedossie, everything turns upside down. i feel odd, ODD and different. perhaps it's the beginning, that's why everything seems so weird to me. =(

anways i shall be able to cope it. just need to make myself more occupied in the evenings. and go to bed early. that should be it. but why am i still grumbling about all these right now? in the middle of the night?! wtf.

life's hard on me. one phase after another. this will be the another chapter of my life that i need to learn how to cope and handle. but... why me?

again.. i'm counting my days to 1.5. can't wait. i'm particularly impatient about this.